I am so glad to know that Carol (and many other great people) are there: HEAVEN

It is so very hard to even catch your breath when you lose someone you love.  Especially the one who gave you the most wonderful job as a mother,  and the one who was a very part of your being.  Our daughter Carol died almost 5 years ago in a tragic accident at the age of 19.  It was sudden, it was scary and it was quick.

So many people loved that girl and came to show us they were there for us as family and friends.Some gave us cards,and some gave us handwritten notes, some shared dreams, and some shared how much Carol meant to them. And some gave us reading materials on grief.

Since Carol died, I know there are severa lphases of grief, and there is no time table for me or anyone else to be in each phase.  As one author wrote, he learned that you go in and out of phases of grief for different times.   Not too encouraging but true , I think.   This same author believes if you chose to let it, tragedies in our lives can transform us.  Ask me and i'll tell you I'd rather be transformed by any other method.

Losing your child is just a hard thing to even get your head around and when you get to where you think you can think straight, you come to this conclusion: " It is just not supposed to happen that way. " It is one of life's bitterest pill  to swallow.  I know it is one of the first things I am going to forget to ask God.  You are probably thinking  "Judy meant to say that is the first thing she would ask GOD- why He would allow such a thing."  But I feel like when I see God, I am gonna be overwhelmed to be in  His presence and feel His love for me.  Some of these realizations are confirmed in a book by Don Piper who experienced being in Heaven after he was in a traffic accident.

Don Piper shares in the book "90 Minutes in Heaven" about his life changing experience of being in heaven when his car was hit by a much larger vehicle and he was pronounced dead for 90 minutes.  A friend who had also lost a child had recommended this book and said  "If you don't read anything else, you have to read chapters 2&3, because they were about heaven  and were amazing!   Mr. Piper was a pastor at the time of his accident and spent 105 days in the hospital after  the accident and has experienced pain almost ever since that day.  In wo chapters he described a time when he was allowed a glimpse and to feel beyoud all explanation..a place so wonderful and beautiful that there are no words to adequately describe it.  In 15 pages of  words  he describes what he saw, he felt, and he heard. It is truly awe inspiring and amazing. He said at times he did not think there were even human words to describe what he witnessed.  Things he shared included:  being greeted by family and friends in Heaven who rushed to greet him and sing praises the whole time..  Other emotions he speaks of are:   a joyfulness that was everywhere,and how his mind could not even think of questions.  There was a blissfulness and perfection to Heaven.  He said his senses seemed to be so heightened and said there was unimaginable joy, excitement, warmth, and total happiness. He said colors were so vivid and dazzling,...surpassing anything he had ever seen.  He said "Never, even in my happiest moments on earth , had I ever felt so fully alive."  and he said no words, "could ever express the utter joy of being surrounded by all the people he loved" (in Heaven he felt more loved than ever before in his life.  "Perfect Love" emanated from all those  who surrounded him. He then talks about following an immense light toward a huge gate.  As he looked through the gate he said he saw streets made from gold and felt he was being escorted into the presence of God.

In chapter 3 Piper speaks of Heaven and the music formed by so many singing but being able to hear every word.  Now admit it, that sounds like a place you (and I) could stay forever?  Don Piper said the closer he got to Heaven's portal  and saw the brightest light he had ever beheld, he felt "deliriously happy" and he felt his body becoming part of the choir.  And just as soon as he arrived there, he was gone. He was about to "realize the yearning of every human heart -being in heaven and about to go through the pearly gate.  And then as a pastor friend was praying and singing and holding his hand, he sang along.  Piper's  friend  could harrdly believe it and yelled "HE's ALIVE"  "Come check his pulse".  The EMT's were skeptical but they did check and found a pulse and realized that Piper was alive, and they proceeded to extricate him from the wreckage, 90 minutes after it happened.

I will just tell you ..as I read the two chapters of Piper's description of Heaven, I was overcome with joy, and tears flowed down my cheeks.   I whaled from deep inside my very spirit.  To know that Carol is there  and that she could be feeling and seeing the same sights was just amazing and liberating.  She has met and felt the love of family and friends who have already been singing praises for a good while (in time that we know it.  What an amazing hope , it gives me to know that in a  little bit of heaven's time, when I get to Heaven she will be there welcoming me  and will escort me to the one who will welcome me Home......the amazing , spectacular, eternal place he promised to those who believe in Him!

If you don't have this hope and this assurance, you can. Talk with someone who knows where they will spend the rest of eteternity, and I pray  your heart will melt with God's love wrapped all around you. And you can feel HIS goodness straight from His heart to yours.    I'm going to read the rest of the book, but I have a feeling, nothing will ever match what Don Piper expereinced and has written about.  And I will hold onto HIS promise of eternal life, and a home in  Heaven,  and will praise God for taking care of His child, Carol Michelle, the one I held briefly and know she is safe for all time in His care!

Do you owe it to any one to do well in Pharmacy school?

I think so!  Here are just a few reasons that you owe it to someone to do well in pharmacy school:  besides your parents, your spouse, your significant other, or some other person sacrificing to help you reach this dream....how about those whose lives are enhanced, or those whose lives will have a better quality of life by overcoming a deficiency or over-activity in their body.  These people will be your customers everyday, and you will hold their lives, their well-being, and their financial worries in your hands.

Believe me when I say, "you are" an important member of any chronically ill person's treatment team.  You may not always be able to tell them with a smile on your face that the therapy may not work or may have bad side effects.  But you can share what you know from experience the problems they may encounter, and warn them to seek immediate help if something unusual happens. Then wish them well and offer your help if it should ever be needed.

Some days you will have to be a detective--probing for answers to unanswered questions
Some days you will have to be the traffic director at work  and prioritize properly.
Some days you will  have to smile and give a compliment when none is expected.
Some days you need to realize that a non-judging spirit is better than any pill's power.
Not every day is going to be great and you may question who you owe it to ...to push on, to make a difference by caring, to do something they may never teach you in these halls, but you should remember you owe it to those who believe in you; starting with you.

Know that you can help people's lives be better by knowing  what works well and what doesn't in your area of expertise.  And when you ask less and less "who do I owe this work to?  Then you will know that you have done your job well, and made a difference in other's lives.  And then maybe a small "Thank you" will be enough to make you get up and do it all again.

Judy Hensley
Parkinson's patient
to  Pharmacy students at ETSU on 8/27/2017
Tomorrow i will be answering questions from 50-60 pharmacy students about Parkinson's disease, and I was wondering, if they ever thought of how important they are in many people's lives and if they work as hard as they can, to be the best they can be.

Digital pain that makes me use bad words! and Why do I have a blog?

Just why do I have a blog?  Well, cause sometimes I just want to get some feelings out and on some kind of paper. But now days this writing on a paper is replaced by typing a document on the computer, naming it,   and putting the file in a directory.  This is all supposed to replace a file cabinet with paper files holding the writing on paper  that you just typed on the computer and  put into an appropriate place that should be easier to find in computer land.

Now where I put my digital file and under what name I give it to easily retrieve it later,  that is often a lottery winning question and find and seek action adventure. Just looking for a created digital file can produce a menagerie of feelings.  I always wanted to use that word in  a sentence..... "menagerie".  so did I use it right?   (Remind self: this is a topic for aother blog another day--using new words the right way).

 Yes, the range of feelings from "what did I name that file as? "  to "Now where did I put it???  on my phone, my laptop, my iPad (least favorite place)?  I know there is this thing called "syncing" but not good at any of this --which produces a"range of emotions of "&*&%&^%&^R"  to the grateful sigh of "thank you "when it is finally found by a search!  That's my deal, maybe you could share your way with me.  I welcome less digital pain...there is more than one way to to everything, and more than one place to put a file or directory: the local hard drive, the removable disk, the jump drive, the cloud...ugh.

So getting back to why i have a blog (in the most basic explaination of why; because everyone else has one...well, maybe not everyone) Whe i get a bloggy thought and take some time to write or type it out,  I usually try and post it when I am done so that I don't have to look for the file again.  So now you know a little of my "Digital file storage Pain" and now I am too tired to exlain why I really have a blog.  I do, and I am thankful I can still remember most of what I need to in order to publish my thoughts and share them with you .  And as Andy Rooney woud say "Now you know the rest of the story"...I mean blog.....No, I really mean: good night, all.

POEM Beginings and Endings

I had started writing this in July 2012 before Carol and Cooper were  marrIed on August 18, 2012. Cooper proposed to Carol on July 4, 2012 in Gatlinburg at the Peddler restaurant.

Written from Carol's perspective by her mom:

Come to our wedding and you will see,

the two of us exchange vows and rings

pledging ourselves to GOD and each other

to become one as Mr. and Mrs. Singletary!  

I am so excited, and can't wait to see

What God has planned and we are yet to see

How everything will fall into place

as we start our life together in Gatlinburg, Tennessee!

Let me tell you how all this came about...

we have been dating for quite a while

(3 and  one-half years to be exact),
I was a sophmore and Cooper a senior;
It was January 2009 when he first asked me out.

I was unsure how my dad would feel about all of this
So we devised a plan..and used it to perfection, to wear him down.
We convinced himthat Cooper (and Caleb, and Justin) would watch over me!
and after 3 years of dating we had no doubt
We wanted a life together as husband and wife!

Now, how to get our parent's permission ???

We put our heads together and came up with a "get-dad's- pemrission-to- wed game-plan"
(along with 3 backups ..just in case)
Cooper was ready for any thing my parents might ask
when he came over a couple of days before July the 4th 2012
and asked if we could get married and he have me as his wife!
.

He told me later "they looked a little shell shocked upon hearing our plans"
and told him in no uncertain terms :
"if you don't take care of our girl, you will be a 'wanted' man!"
But they knew how strong our love was for each other
and that was ultimately what won them over.

Since we were on a roll, we thought we might as well
Hit them with bomb shell number two, cause
We knew the next question would be "When?"
so we said "Seven weeks from now... that woldl be just swell!?"
Mom was about to stroke and she said "WHAT?
how are we going to get ready for a wedding so soon, ?

While we had them confused we dropped bomb shell number three:
We told them about the business we were going to start,
They had no reason to worry, it would all come together,
we had a plan right from the start, the rest would be easy,
we would just follow our hearts!.

After the wedding we are going on a Caribean cruise

So if you can’t join us on August the eighteenth

We will catch up with  you sometime later

and tell you all of our 'happily maried' news!

Thank you.... family and friends... for all you have done for us!
Please keep us in your prayers

For God to light our way
and for us to give Him all our cares!

Thanks
Carol
_________________________________________________________________
Carol and Cooper got married in a beautiful ceremony  (on Aug 18, 2012) with many friends and family there to show their support.  They took their cruise; came home;  packed up and moved to Gatlinburg by Labor day 2012.  They started their own business and had a cute apartment and had gotten a puppy, named Roxy.  Carol was going to college at the satellite campus of Walters State Community College. On Feb 27, 2013 Carol died after passing out and falling into a glass display case at a business near theirs.   A large piece of glass severed her aorta and she died quickly and painlessly.We are so glad that she and Cooper had the time together that they did, and we are so happy to have been  graced with her presence at our  home for 18 years.  She lived life grand and loved  just as big:  the LORD, her family. and her friends.

I added some thoughts below  as a fast forward to almost 5 years later.  We miss her a bunch and know we will see her smile again one day when the LORD declares so.

_________________________________________________________________

Speed forward to June 2017

It is hard this time of year when many of Carol’s friends are starting new phases of their lives.
Some have graduated and are finding new jobs,making all that effort for their degree worthwhile.
Others are settling down with a wife or husband and having children that grace their lives.

I can't help but wonder what Cooper and Carol would be doing now, five years after they married.? Would Carol have a 4 year degree and be branching out in some new position, or helping  their business grow and prosper beyond all belief? Or would they be planning the arrival of a cute little baby that i could spoil?

I asked Cooper recently what he and Carol talked about when dreamed about their future? He was taken by surprise at my question, and it took him a minute to gather his composure, but he said that they often spoke of the future but ,they were content to just live lifeto the fullest in the moments that they had.
Although i wish they would have had many more moments of happiness, joy, love, and laughter

to share,  I know it is enough. God’s providential plans marked their lives for His glory to be known through them. He allowed them to share in something so special for just 6 months before she was gone. He let them live a lifetime full of love and joy….. as much as was meant to be. I will always remember the sparkle in Carol’s eye that was reserved for just her guy every time we got to see her after they married.

She told me once that she was happier than she ever thought she could be. Of course she was..she had Cooper by her side and God watching from above, She came into all our lives for us to learn different lessons; she taught us well, I think. And as her momma I am so very proud of her. I miss her so very much, and there are times when I feel her spirit close to mine..Other times i can hear her voice and I smile. And I whisper to her "see ya soon, sweet girl or mine!"

6/1/2017

Judy hensley.