I went and sat in the rocker that our neighbor gave us before she was born. When I sit there sometimes I feel her as a weight on my legs and a warm feeling on my chest. It helps because I hear her say "it is OK momma, really...it won't be long until we are together again. I told Bill about the feeling I get sitting in the rocker. He did not sit there...at least not when I could see him.
I don't know how long it is supposed to take...maybe never. I don't want to forget her...ever. I am trying to write a book about Carol's life. Some days there is progress and some days it is just too hard.
We still see Cooper on occasion. And he is good to come and visit us on holidays. I don't even know how hard it is for him. I just ask the LORD to send him a beautiful someone...with a spirit more special than Carol's so that the void in Cooper's life will be replaced. And he will smile that smile of complete contentment again someday.
I got a note from my niece by marriage in Texas. She is pregnant and expecting a little girl in September. She said they were going to give her a middle name of Carol. That made me smile. And maybe someday, the tears will be gone, but she will live on in our hearts. I see her everywhere I go. In a sweet little baby, in a curious toddler, in the innocence of little child looking for their momma or learning something new. and in the passion of a young lady running up and down a basketball court, and in the lives of her friends who carry on knowing their lives were somehow made better by knowing and loving Carol Hensley Singletary.
I love and miss you so very much Carol. I hope you are proud of me and daddy --we are trying so very hard. love you always and forever ...MOM.
