Things I Learned from My Mom

(NOTE:  this blog was first posted at Parkinson's Journey (my friend Sherri Woodbridge let me post blogs on PJ when I was first writing about some things I thought might be of interest to others..or just some things i wanted to get off my chest.   I agree!--she is a good friend!!!)

My mother  passed away from cancer in 2010 and her life was a great testimony to me. She was the wisest teacher I ever had. She had 72 years of wisdom to pass on to any who would learn, and some pretty good marriage and life lessons from being married to my dad almost 51 years.

Since I am so very proud of my mom, I would like to share some things that I’ve learned from her:

1. You never ‘back-talk’ or as my Jerzee friends says ‘get fresh’ with your momma. I did it once and remember her reaction well….a hand quickly and firmly smacked my mouth and face and I then looked at her in disbelief! She had never hit me in my mouth…sure, plenty of times on my rear-end, but she must have known how well the shock appeal of this disciplinary action would work. It did the trick on me. Not sure what mom did to my sister for the same problem…whatever it was it took longer to have an effect though.

2. You make a commitment; you keep it. I learned this when I wanted to quit the church softball team I was on because we were awful and win-less. Mom said “Oh no, you are not going to quit!!! You play, you have fun…win or lose. Do you need any further motivation?” I replied “no m’am!” So I stayed on the team and ended up having a good time even though we were really pitiful.

3. You do your best, no matter what, even if you come in last or get a low grade. You can’t control how hard other people try but you can certainly make sure that you give your very best at any endeavor you strive to do.

4. One of a woman’s greatest thrills in life is shoe shopping. A good deal on a pair ofl shoes gives an adrenaline boost like no other….and if you don’t get a good deal then they better be the most ‘make em stop dead in their tracks’ beautiful shoes that are worth every penny of the $$$ you paid for them! Never pass by a shoe store that has a buy-one get-one-free sale! I guess you have to be a female to understand all this. But it is a very important concept of female life to know about.

5. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. Even if everyone else does, you should know how it feels and resist the temptation to do this. Enough said. This is a hard lesson to learn and put in practice but it will pay dividends you never imagined when you do!

6. Be strong and courageous even when you don’t feel like it. And the way you do this is to draw strength from the LORD. He said he would never leave or forsake us and has sent his spirit as a helper. So use it. It takes courage to face many things in life.

7. Do unto others as Jesus would do to them–and it doesn’t matter if you never get anything in return for doing so. And it is so fun to do random acts of kindness. But no matter how you interact with others, put a smile on your face and let them know you have a reason to be happy.!!

8. If at all possible, keep your foot away from your mouth–it is entirely possible for it to end up in your mouth and you will most certainly regret it. Stop and think before you speak is a good rule to use.

9. Faith in God is the greatest resource you can have in this life, the hardest thing to explain to others, and the simplest act that provides eternal benefits. Without faith, we have no strength, without strength we have no endurance, without endurance the prize cannot be obtained.

10. Honesty, open-mindedness. loyalty, and laughter are the cornerstones of any good relationship. They don’t just happen, it takes work to cultivate them and help a friendship grow. And we should be friends with our family because that is what God intended.

11. Realize your blessings and give thanks for them and for goodness ;sakes, share them with others!!!.  There is always, and i mean always SOMETHING to be thankful for ....if you look hard enough.

These are just a few lessons that come to mind that I feel like I have been taught by my wonderful mother in the 47 years we had together. I think that by knowing these truths about life, my mother helped prepare me to face life head on and with a confidence that can only be instilled by love. I thank God for her influence, wisdom, and most of all her love that make me feel I was the luckiest girl in the world to have Becky Good as my mom!!!

If your mom is still alive, give her a hug. If she doesn’t live close by, call her up and give her a hug over the phone. And for heavens’ sake…don’t text it to her…let her hear it!

if your mom has passed on, tell someone how much she meant to you, and thank the Lord for the blessing of the time you had with her!!

One of my mom’s pastor’s quoted this verse of Keats as a remembrance of my mom: “A thing of beauty is a joy forever”. And I for one say a big AMEN about my mom in that regard!!!

In memory of my mother, Becky Good, 1938-2010
Judy Hensley
republished 4/26/2017 on my mom's earthly birthday

Addendum as of 4/26/2017:

Just a couple more things I would add as I think about my mom on her birthday today..she would say "Never bypass a chance to go to the beach."  One year my mom went to Myrtle Beach 4 times--once being there as late as November , but she was so excited to have gotten the chance to go that many times!  She didn't like to go swimming out in the ocean because she could not see what was in the water, but she enjoyed just sitting under the umbrella or going for a walk and picking up shells.  She once old me that the sand at the beach reminded her of how unique God made all of us and knows our every thought and deed and that was what made made Him worthy of all our praise.

And the other thing is to always tell those you love that they are special in your heart and in God's too! Surely I don't need to explain this..just do it!

And one of her absolute 'have to have' for any birthday party she threw or had was some homemade ice cream.  So today if i can't find any homemade ice-cream, i will have some frozen yogurt (the next best thing) and thank God for my mom!

POEM Your Story

?

Your Story

When you stop and think about the story of your life up to now

would it be complete without a chapter called  “My Hard knocks & My Know Hows?"
would your story include the strains, the pains, the tragedies, and the losses, along with memories too depressing
Maybe you should include then in your story because they, in many ways, have become recognized as blessings
That have made life more fulfilling as your story unfolded and you stand amazed at waht you had ben missing.

You should mix in chapters about refreshing fellowships and special times spent with good friends,
and don't forget to meniton all the experiences that were greater than the latest trends
Yes, they would go well with the parts told with pride about your children, pets and occupational successes...

But would you include the parts when you almost gave up when life was just not going as you'ld liked
and all you felt were emotions that were mentally, physically and emotionally oppressing??

But just imagine how miraculous the story of you has become!It isone worth sharing with others
who struggle with a life that is less than fulfilling

.They need to know how God has always been your faithful, true and constant friend
and how HE is the ONE who reveales promises upon which we all can depend?

Funny how life gives and takes some hard life lesssons for some simple things to be revealed...
and How an ever-present God’s love for us is truely amazing stuff,
if we see can stop and see for others what it is....It s a LOVE that is...so very ...REAL!

When we are challenged by the really hard times of life,

We can learn of the hope and encouragement that God’s people can bring.

And how we are able to rise above even hurricane-sized fears

When God brings along side us, others who wipe away our tears!

Please don't forget to tell how each new day can bring a joy complete

As you share your story, to possibly help others! Now that is sweet!

And in continuation of the crazy unpredictable life you live
you can speak in truth of how life's trials can make you realize
our next breath is not a given, so we all should share more
of what makes life............... worth livin!!

From this boldness freinds will know you speak only the truth
because they have witnessed lessons and learnings you'e experienced since your youth

Others will come to see and believe how it is possible to overcome many things

With your example of hope founded in Jesus Christ as your Savior and KING!

Your life story will prove that having Jesus as your Savior doesn't guarantee an easier path

it just shows that Jesus will always have your back.

It means life for now and forever can be enjoyed in abundance and in a simple faith of hope and in love.....

And we await the day together when we'll be called home by God our Father..to sharea mansion in heaven above..

Judy Good Hensley

April 23,2017

Possibly the Craziest Thing I Have Ever Done....over 400 times...

Getting People to wear a crazy looking coat and have their picture made in it!

This is how it started:

I was 40 years old living a good life and  married 17 years to the same guy.  I was able to live in our hometown of Johnson City, I had a great job i loved with people I loved’ I was involved at church, taking martial arts with the fam, and keeping up with a super daughter who was 9 years old. Then i started having some goofy health problems, and in Nov 2002 sat in a neurologist's office and heard these words:  "You have Parkinson's disease".  GULP...well...alot has gone on  since then.

One of which is me and this coat, affectionately called 'da coat'.  I bought it because I thought it was so bright and pretty and a steal at 90% off retail (a 'designer named' coat at Big Lots at $15! )  We could use it at church in a play...or I could send it to kid's summer church camp for them to use!  If my daughter had only had my same sense of 'style' this whole thing would not have been.  Funny how God uses ordinary things to do extraordinary things though, huh? for some special reason gives such a feeling of coolness when it is worn. Plus, it drives my dear daughter crazy. My picture wearing the coat is included in the book “Proud Hands of Parkinson’s’ along with my story about living with Parkinson’s disease.  

Because she despised seeing that coat, it became my mission to show her that she was wrong.  I was going to get people to put it on and even have their picture made in it.  And somewhere along the way, some of my Parkinson's disease friends really took up with this coat, wearing it, feeling the love, smiling or at least letting me take their picture in it.  Telling people a little about Parkinson's as I continued my quest to convince my daughter of her lack of fashion style became a fun pastime.  And then other people would see 'da coat pics I would post online.  I even started mailing it to a few people in the USA.  They could have the coat as long as they took their pic in it and used it in some way to tell people about PD.

In 2009, I even asked a member of The Regulars to take 'da coat with them to the highest point in Africa (19,300 ft) as part of their efforts to raise funds and awareness for PD and Alzheimer's.  She did and the coat is seen in the trailer for the documentary film released in 2010 called "10 Mountains 10 Years" and mentioned in the commentary of the movie.  'Da coat is also seen in a book "Proud Hands of Parkinson's Disease," and has gotten numerous mentions in blogs by people with PD.  There is even a piece of it in heaven because I put a small square of it in my mom's casket.  She was my greatest supporter, and friend that I could have in my journey with Parkinsons’s disease.  And my mom made so many people smile and feel good, and that is what 'da coat does too--it makes you smile,.  It gives good vibes.  It is fun.  I had tried to send 'da coat to a new home on the west coast in the summer of 2011.  It stayed awhile but my friend wanted me to have it back for a special time in Oct.

It is no longer my coat ....it is 'da coat that has grown to not only bring awareness to Parkinson’s disease but due to meeting some wonderful people also associated with The Regulars, it has become an awareness item for Alzheimer’s disease.

Learnings from the Coat

I thought I’d tell you some things that my outlandishly, stand-outish, wild coat has taught me. This is the coat that brings me great joy whenever I put it on or have a new friend put it on.

 First, the coat is colorful and draws some attention, and it reminds me of the bible story of Joseph and the coat of many colors his father gave him. And although I’m sure it was a treasured item because his father gave it to him, it caused some bad feelings with his brothers and ultimately was the straw that broke their backs. That coat brought Joseph adversity from his brothers; he ended up sold into slavery. He overcame that and became a personal servant of the queen only to end up in jail over a misunderstanding. He overcame that and became the right hand man of the ruler after interpreting a dream. All that started with the coat? Yep, in a way!

 When I thought about it …wearing ‘da coat kind of parallels having Parkinson’s. The symptoms eventually make us stand out; we may be ridiculed by others for standing out in such an unusual way. But I’m here to tell you, PD may be an adversity we face, but we can turn it into an advantage in our lives if we just keep a positive attitude. My Parkinson’s has allowed me to meet so many wonderful people; it has helped me move out of a comfort zone into an active roll in the effort to fundraise for a cure; and it has helped me become more attentive to life around me and more compassionate to others.

 Next, the coat makes me stand out and gives me an opportunity to tell others why PD makes us stand out. It is at first an uncomfortable feeling you have from standing out when you put the coat on….kind of like when you first find out you have PD. You wonder how people will accept you. I’ve found people who really don’t find the coat that appealing will still put it on as a form of acceptance for me. It also gives me a chance to tell them this may be the coat I have to wear for now, a disease I have to live with for now….. But while I’m standing out, I’m going to take the opportunity to tell people about PD and let them know what it’s like, and hopefully they’ll be more inclined to support a cure.

Third, the coat has become somewhat of a trademark of me (or my personality) or a way I am recognized–as a really crazy parkie lady! I even had my picture in the coat and a clown wig included in a published book called “Proud Hands of Parkinson’s” that includes stories of 28 people whose lives have been impacted by Parkinson’s. I’ve subtitled my personal page after getting my copy of the book “Proud Coat of Parkinson’s” lol. One author, Pam Spence, has written about ‘da coat in her book called “Glad Rags, Inspiring Clothes and the Women Who Wear Them ( EWH Press 2014).

Wearing this wild coat has a close personal association for me of wearing the illness called PD in my life. My PD is unique to me and I’m learning to be more comfortable in it. It all takes time to cope with it and that is not possible without support from others. Just think of these other people who have trademark clothing or accessories and how well associated they have become with them: Captain Kangaroo and Mr. Greenjeans, Mr Rodger’s and his cardigan, ELVIS–enough said, Mr. T and his pile of gold jewelry, Minnie Pearl and her hat with the hanging price tag, Barney Fife and his gun with no bullet, Granny and her long dress and spectacles from the  Beverly Hillbillies, and what about Tarzan and his loincloth, Daniel Boone and his coonskin hat, and Batman with his hooded face cover and those gloves and shoes? Soon to be added to the list: Judy with PD and the multicolored coat.

Can you see my point? The coat is not just one dimensional; it encompasses many feelings and emotions —just like having PD does!.

Since I started sharing the coat with others and letting them ‘feel the love’ it brings to each, it has brought  a unique camaraderie to those who have worn the coat.   ’Da coat often brings a smile to one’s face as they try to recall just why they would ever don such a coat and let Judy take their picture in it!    It provides a chance to smile in the middle of an otherwise dreary illness or day. It is something out of the ordinary and quite fun to do…wear ‘da coat and strike a pose!

And one of it’s most important attributes is, that it gives you liberty to talk back to PD…and say ‘see you dumb disease? …you cannot make me feel any goofier than putting on this coat does!’ (I have no idea what it lets people that don’t have PD say…except “why am I doing this?” LOL).

 So that’s what I think ‘da coat has shown me in the time we have shared. I cannot tell you how much fun I have had seeing others put it on or drape it over their shoulder and smile while I snap their picture. There are a few people who I know who have refused to wear the coat, but I just tell them, “your loss!” Who would have ever thought I’d have so much fun from a wild, outlandishly looking coat that I bought for $7.50?

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Poem by Judy Hensley:

Just what is all the ruckus over 'da coat?  by Judy Hensley  3/30/09

One day in 2005, I  went into a discount store

my eye was caught by colorful coats by the door

I looked at the tag and gasped at the original retail price

and then I thought "at $15, this 90% discount is really nice!"

So I shelled out the cash and took the gorgeous coat home

and planned to wear it when I deemed the time was right

the day Carol left for church camp one summer seemed the time for all the coat to see

and on that debut day,the bright multicolored coat started it's remarkable journ--ey

My daughter, Carol, was of course most horribly ashamed

of her mother and this new 'show-off 'da coat' game

She begrudgingly took the coat to camp for all of them to enjoy that week

and planned it's demise so that there would be no coat repeats!

I gave her permission (she did at least call to ask) allowing her to let the coat stay

she seemed so sincere but I liked the coat so I headed to a discount store in another city that very day

to see if they had more of the incredible coats and found them marked half down

so I was able to get another coat and greet her in it when she got home...only to see her smile replaced by a frown.

It became my mission to show my daughter

that 'da coat is special and she was the only doubter

so I've asked many friends at church and other places

to join in some fun and put on 'da coat and make big smiley faces!

I soon began to wonder if my obsession with this coat could be due to my PD

so I took 'da coat on a trip to a PD conference to see.

Some of my Parkie friends were skeptical of it's power

but when they saw others put it on, their mind was changed in less than an hour.

This coat now has a life of it's own

if you get a chance to put it on, then just do it ..you'll see

it feels wonderful, it's so bright and cheery, you'll have to also put on a smile

and let me take your picture to show everyone it was worthwhile.

What once was "Judy's coat" is now referred to as 'da Coat

because it is no longer mine but it represents a community of mine

of family, friends, and men and women with Parkinson's disease

who are not afraid of having some fun--thank you, try it on, please!

In July 09 'da coat  accompanied Strong Feather Eileen of The Regulars

as that team climbed Mount Kilimanjaro in Africa to raise awareness of Parkinson's and Alzheimer's disease

I waited at home to hear if they got to the summit hoping it was to be

Knowing in my heart that i was a part of their mission they were

Heroes to pepple like me

You see they knew that 'together we work for a cure'....

Me, you, kids, friends and many others who live ordinary lives

All making an extraordinary difference in our future

by doing something bold and courageous, to help us not only live with a new hope but... survive!

'da Coat has traveled near and far

it's been worn by people, animals, statues, and even a couple of preach'ars

and I've got over more than 400 pictures of the occassions to help me remember the joy

and although my daughter still does not like 'da coat, it will not stop my ploy

to share some fun along each of our pathways

and help us to not take life too serious....Come on!!!... enjoy the little things each and every day!

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If you have worn the coat and would like to tell how it made you feel, I'd like to share it with others in a selfish effort to bring awareness to Parkinson's disease!  Thanks,Judy Hensley ....a gal living in Tennessee diagnosed with Young onset Parkinson's disease, still determined to endure for a cure!

me with a friends convertible Miata in California 2009.