BIRTHDAY THOUGHTS(from 2012) I WROTE TO CAROL ON HER 19th & 1st AWAY FROM HOME; Inspired by a Marci Book for her daughter

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I posted these on the Group page in Facebook called "Carol's Smile" during Oct 2013. These were inspired from a little paperback book I had given Carol for her birthday last year 2012 by Marci "To my Daughter -Love and Encouragement to carry with you on your Journey Through Life." It has about 40 topics she addresses accompanied by cute b/w drawings. I got it about a month before her 19th birthday because I wanted to write some of my personal thoughts that were brought out by Marci's thoughts. I did not necessarily have a thought for each of the topics.

I just recently got the book back and thought I would share a few with you this month. Carol's birthday is OCT 28th.

The first one of the pages I turned to the other day must have surely been God's goodness to remind me who is got this all under control. on pg 28-29 Marci describes some things she attempted to teach her daughter like: "to work hard, to give your best, to love completely, to sacrifice, and no matter what , to trust in God....and the beautiful reward that is found in giving and also *******here's the part i needed reminding of********--->>>>> everything happens for a reason, even if we never understand it.' And at the bottom at that page it had a lil picture that had these 3 words on it (which happen to be some of my favorites too) FAITH HOPE LOVE. I wrote at the bottom my thought to Carol: I'm not too sure how effective I was at teaching you the 'deep' stuff of life, but I'm pretty sure you are gonna do just fine!! Love u! Mom <<<<<< on some pages I highlighted words and had highlighted the "everything happens for a reason sentence. Maybe the book was not just for Carol

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pg 46 "5 Keys to Happiness" although i know in my heart Carol was so happy with her life at the time of her

death, it was that way for many resaons. Here are 5 Marci mentions 1- realize happiness is a decision 2- Happiness is contageous,, make some one smile (I think we can all agree Carol gets an A+ on this one) 3=be grateful for even the little things 4=Acceptance of the belief that everything happens for a reason will give more happiness than if not and 5- give away some courage every day ! When you ENcourage others to 'hang in there'..you will find an unENding source of happiness. I had circled the whole paragraph for #5 and said "when you can do this even when it is so hard, you will have a joy that is really hard to describe" .
All that I can add to this is: in the almost 8 months since she died, so many people of all ages have told us story after story of how Carol encouraged them. it was like it was her true mission in life to help others lift up their sights to see that things will be better and that she would be there for them when things weren't so good. Yes, I have no doubt that she died, a happy, content, and courageous young woman. I can do less than to thank God for the blessing of Carol in my life and in the lives os so many we did not even know about. Helping someone be courageous is saying "i believe you CAN DO it. Yep , that was my girl...Carol you can do anyting, and so can I. I love you and miss you. Help me be courageous Friday when i have my surgery. I know-I already turned over all the worries to God and I know you will be holding my hand.. Love u, mom


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pg 10-11 "The bond between us is EVERLASTING" Marci writes "I watched you grow and have come to understand that our lives have been brought together for a reason. I have learned as much from you as you have from me. Thank you for your love and for sharing all that is uniquely you. The bond we have is

everlasting."
All I can add right now is that for some reason I wish I could tell Carol "thank you! for all you taught me" out loud right now and she could hear it. She is still teaching me things even tho she is gone, and it is because our bond as mother and daughter will survive anything AND IT WILL LAST FOREVER. I told Bill tonight, we were not lucky to have Carol ...we were BLESSED to have her as our daughter. That means her life was a gift given to us without us doing anything to deserve it. And I will tell you this: my daughter's spirit and our special mother/daughter bond helped me get through my DBS surgery last week. I focused in my mind seeing her play basketball on those days when she played against bigger, better shooting, faster players without frustration and I told myself "I taught her some of that determination, now put it to use for yourself.... suck this up and push through this intense discomfort. Carol's spirit was cheering me on and I just want her to know that i needed it so and i love her for caring about me.
People!,,,,, it is the little things in life we need to stop and take note of and give thanks for at times. Before those times get gone. Before we are alone and all those people we needed to say thank you to are gone. And for sure, we need to thank the giver of all blessings because he made us for that purpose!.
My prayer today: OH God over all the universe and lover of my soul, you graced my life with the blessing of Carol Michelle Hensley Singletary almost 20 years ago. I don't know why you let that time go by so fast, 'cause i wish I could have so many of them back. But in your God-sized wisdom, you took her to her heavenly home. Although it has been hard to not have her here any more, I thank you for letting her spirit forever be entwined with mine. On some days just thinking about her love is the extra push i need , and oon ther days it is your sustaining strength that i require!!! Hold my girl tight for me and whisper my love to her. Tell her I'll see her soon, so stay fired up and we'll have a blast when i get to hug her again!!!-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




P66-67 "Daughter these are my promises to you:" Marci writes" I promise to always love you" Mine to Carol "I will always and forever love you --no matter where you are"
Marcie writes"I promise to always care about your happiness" Mine to Carol "I am glad I do not have to worry if you were ever happy or if you are happy now. You showed us all how happy you were with Cooper and I know you are beyond happy now in heaven". Marcie wrote "I promise to support your dreams and encourage the talents you have" Mine to Carol "I guess I will leave it to Cooper to help your dreams be real and he knows your Daddy and I will be here for him in all he does; and as for your talents being encouraged, you needed no help with that, your greatest talent was your smile and how you encouraged all kinds of people. I hope that in many ways we can carry on that trait to others as a tribute to your spirit."

And one last thing, i hope that every person who knew you, or is just now getting to know you will see and desire to have an influence on other's lives like you did, you still have, and will for a long time...that is my mission now...to add your light and mom's light to mine so that everyone can know about the amazing love we shared as a family and how it was a gift from God to make us family. I hope that through your life and death that others will know that your greatest joy came from loving others like God loved/loves you!!!!! i love you and feel you here with me in so many special ways. Hugs from me up to you

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pg 59 Marci writes to her daughter: "you have given me so much to be thankful for as I watch you move

through life and develop all the qualities that make you so beautiful. Your SHINING spirit fills my heart and makes me so PROUD to call you my daughter". "I love you".

I guess as all parents we can say 'we are blessed' and it is only natural to be proud of our kids! I wrote to Carol on the same page: 'People have always commented about your most engaging personality and how you always seem HAPPY! I think people who notice it most are most envious of that quality. It makes me proud that you make people feel that way! Keep on doing it--I think it is a beautiful quality of YOU! '

By the way Carol, did you hear we had a bunch of people pack boxes because they wanted to do something nice in your memory on the day before your birthday? They filled over 84 boxes....we could feel your sweet presence with us!!! Thank you! lov ya,mom

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Living out the words in a song.." In the Middle of it All"

Over 10 years ago I attended a women's conference in Pigeon Forge and heard Pam Thum sing in concert for the first time.  I'm not sure if she had more than a couple of Christian hit songs, but I really enjoyed her music, her style, and her presentation.  As I was looking back over some of her CD's I have, I found this song...it seems so ironic.  I never would have thought 10 years ago that I might find myself living  so real-life the the words of this song.

I'd like to share some of the words to the song by Pam Thum, Joel Lindsey, and Regie Hamm entitled

"In the Middle of It All"

2nd verse:  You say you're doing fine.  And even though you always wear a smile, deep inside your mind.you haven't been at peace for quite a while,  but then everybody leaves, and you are left to face your fear.  And the things you believe......no longer seem so clear.  And you are haunted by the failure and  the insecurity.  And the shadows fall so hard it drives you to your knees, but........
(hang on..this is the good part--the chorus!)

IN the middle of it all
In the middle of the darkest night,
Lift your head and tell your heart to walk by faith and not by sight,
And in the middle of it all
There's a loving God that is holding out his hand,
If you reach for HIM ..HE will catch you when you fall
In the middle of it all.

My(judy's) prayer--thank you God for being my ever present source of hope and strength.  Help me be your light in this world, and let them see you in me! Amen

A story from Halloween past--Would you come back?

we did this again this year at Halloween and I remembered an incident at the same event last year and thought i would share it here!  

Sal giving Halloween treats
 at the Yelen's house 2013

I just had to share this incident from Halloween 2012.  We were at some friends' house along with others from our small group from church on Halloween last year to help man their door front because they get tons of visitors through their subdivision on Halloween.  We, of course, were eating and goofing off and taking pictures inside while bunch after bunch of trick or treaters came to their door.  To some of us, this is very amusing because some of us live where few tricker treaters come.  And to the rest of us, we were just glad to not have to hand out some candy then wait until we decided no one else was coming, only to get halfway downstairs at our house and hear the doorbell ring...again.
  Our group leader Sal especially enjoys manning the door and handing out the candy to the kids at the door.  And I  am sure he was very generous with the candy.  He's just like that.  So it was getting late and things were starting to slow down.  The rest of us were hanging out near the front door around the banister where we could see the trick or treaters coming by and hear the exchange Sal had with them.  I just happened to be right behind  Sal when a girl about 7-9 years old stood there  on the porch, alone, and holding her bag out for treats..  Sal said "Hey, weren't you by here earlier?"  I saw her face ---her eyes did not move from Sal's but she paused just a second longer than you would have thought normal and then she shook her head "yes".  Sal, of course, busted out in a big laugh and asked "so what should we do? "  and we all said "give her some more treats" and I think we all kind of admired her for her daring act of returning.  But you know what I admired her most for?  It was for telling the truth.   What did she gain by telling the truth? Not much  but maybe more than if she had lied. No matter..she did seem glad that Sal didn't hold her return visit against her.

A few days after this I am now wondering "Why did that little girl come back?"  It could have been for lots of reasons.   Out of pride, I just thought she may have been curious about those people in that house who were having such a  good time inside and probably wanted to know what the deal was.  The deal was this:   we all have troubles and trials, but in our small group we got each other and most of us got God's promises to hold on to ...which by the way are ALWAYS the truth for our lives.   

Have you been wondering what it is that some people have that seems to be something familiar but you just can't put you finger on it without seeing or asking about it?  Have you had a relationship with  God and  and know what a gift that is?   Now maybe that relationship is not as new or you feel you cannot ever re-establish it.  Maybe you should return back to the door of your heart...and listen...you'll hear a knocking.  And it will be Jesus, wanting to be your hope for every day.  He doesn't bring up the crazy things you have done as long as you have asked Him to forgive you of them.   He is longing to show you kindness again.  So don't be afraid or too proud, just step up answer the door and say 'Thanks for letting me have this opportunity again!'  And God won't even have to turn around and ask the rest of heaven "so what shall I do with this one?"  He has already told us what he would do....He will welcome you back with arms wide open again.!!!  

Happy Halloween, Give Thanks next month for second chances, and then Merry Christmas-celebrate to gift of Life thru Jesus Christ who came to this world, lived in it just like us, and still wanted to give himself away so that we could be a part of His family..forever.

Some of my small group friends!! From North Ridge
 Community Church -west market str campus