Carol's25th bday

OCT. 28, 2018 Well today is full of emotions.  I’d like to summarize a few of them:  Went to church {Bill stayed home}.  Carol’s youth pastor spoke today about Social Justice:  Racism.  Johnny Byrd amazes me every time he speaks to us ‘adults’.  Carol, I know would be so proud of him too!  Yeah, I know Carol..that church that we went to before North Ridge didn’t know what a jewel they had when it came to Johnny.  You know what they say ...“ their loss, our gain”.

Johnny said a lot of good things this morning that we all need to take to heart, and let our actions do our speakin’ for us.so the world “will get it” too! The following points are the best I can translate from my chicken scrating-writing of notes:  For far too long the  modern church has been shouting to the world that we should love one another to eradicate racism but we have not presented the world with  actions to back this up.  Racism is not a skin problem, but a sin problem.  Racism is not the presence of hatred but the absence of LOVE.  He listed 3 things we can do to help us in our relationship with others, to keep racism from creeping in: 

1. Recognize our own prejudices--they can be small but still there
2. Seek to understand others with whom we come in contact, by understanding what they think is important to know about differences between us.
3. We HAVE TO show others  God’s LOVE even tho they may not come from where we have, have a different skin color, gender, belief system, and so on.

His scripture reference was Luke 10 (story of the good Samaritan) and James 2:9.  A this is part of a series of teachings called The Justice League at North Ridge Community Church West Market campus.

So Johnny gave us all some things to think about our perceptions and actions towards others and to not let racism traint our words or actions.    Oh, and he said he asked some friends of his ….of other races, creeds, and color what one thing they would like the world to know, and one person said “that racism still exists”.  IF we could just turn our minds to remember the great love God had for us, when we were so unlike him, he looked past our short-comings and allowed His Son to become the substitute for the consequences of our sins.  

And Johnny took a piece of Ronda Paulson’s  talk last week saying  “we can all do more” when it comes to loving others.  And that brought to my mind the saying “be the change you want to see in the world.”

So the other great thing about our campus is the worship music is great!   But I just could not forget  the irony of the last song being sung on Carol’s birthday: “The Reckless Love of Christ”.  There  is a line in it that speaks about the Parable of The Lost Sheep, and that was Carol’s favorite bible story when she was little.  It is an amazing song about what lengths God will go to pursue us and show us His great love for us.!

Link o the song:  https://youtu.be/dWi-Q00zdrg

Now go read Romans 8:38-39 which we had put on Carol’s marker and fully believe that she believed it  Hugs from Judy and thanks for the remembrances of Carol you have shared today.

Li
nk o the song:  https://youtu.be/dWi-Q00zdrg
http://www.hallels.com/articles/20232/20181015/jo-dee-messina-takes-refuge-in-god-in-cancer-battle-by-recording-reckless-love.htm

Memories of being at the beach with my sister

I am sitting here in the dark in a hotel room, listening to someone to which I am related, sleep soundly but not too quietly.  Note to self:  bring ear plugs next time I room with my sister!    We are at the beach with one our dear friends from our younger days.

I am up because I have slept so hard the last couple of nights.  My sister said I was acting out a dream and hit her last night, so I am trying to stay awake and not hurt her again as I dream.  I will just make up any lost sleep under the umbrella at the beach, listening  to the waves and feeling that wonderful sea- breeze later today.

I should not complain (or blog about my sister's  sleep habits) because I am really grateful for my one and only sister, Karen.  We have been through some really good times and a few scary times.  Karen is two and a half years younger than me.  She may have lived her early years in my shadow, but in these later years in our lives, I find myself wishing I could be more like her - mostly because she just knows how to make people feel special.  She quickly becomes the life of any party or gathering, and she is the greatest role model  my daughter had as she grew up that anyone could have!

We are currently getting to spend a week together at the beach.  Just that experience alone would be great, but it becomes even more special when we both know of many good times we shared at the beach  in our younger days, camping at Myrtle Beach, SC, riding our bikes around the campground, and swimming from daybreak to dark.   Those really early years at the beach were in a tent, and then in a popup camper.

Our mom decided the beach was her place, but she was not going to stay there any longer in a tent or popup camper with no A/C;  cooking and washing for 3 other people; and walk to the the potty in the middle of the night with one hand    holding aflashlight and  the other hand griping  a young 'un half asleep, and return to try to sleep on a cot or air mattress.

Score a major victory for Mom on that one! From then on it was a hotel or condo at the beach for the Good clan!  I must admit, I am not one who regrets my mom's decision at all, Thanks, Mom, for showing us the way to really enjoy the beach!

One other incident may have been the most scariest of my younger days.  I was about 7 years old and we were camping  at the beach, out in an open area (unlike previous times when we were more in the woods)  when a typical mid-afternoon storm hit. Mom rushed me and Karen to the safety of the car while daddy was left to run around the tent and try to tie-down the tent flaps.  Did I tell you were parked by this really tall tree that turned into a lightening rod all at once and we saw a bright light and then tree bark cover the front windshield.  The next thing I heard was mom screaming at dad to get his hiney in the car.  She had seen him jump 3 feet in the air when the lightning struck the tree beside our car, and decided a live husband and dad was better than one fried and burning on top of our tent!

It was almost deja vu several years later when some newlyweds ,.. that would be me and Bill,  who with a meeger checking account decided to go to the beach the only way we could...to camp in a tent.   We actually stayed in the same campground!  But I insisted on not camping by any tall trees. We had great weather almost till the end of the week.  That is when a lightning storm hit in the middle of the  night.  I insisted that we leave the tent and get in the car.   So we spend several hours trying to sleep in the car, and finally gave up and packed up  at first light (with everything wet) and headed home.

Needless to say I pulled a "Becky" on my husband and said "No more tent camping for me!"  We camped maybe one more time and about froze to death the first weekend of June at a campground near South Holston lake! But t has been cono rental living for any vacation since then.

So Karen and I are at the beach together again.  Not in a tent, but safely in a condo rental.  We will enjoy  eating out most nights, making new memories of the being at the beach together along with a mutual friend, and just chilling out for a few days.  I wonder if my sister has the same memory of the day the lightning hit the tree beside the car in which we took safe refuge?  IF she does, then I don't think I will ever have to worry about camping again..anywhere!


Judy
Oct 2018

Some thoughts for the 3 E's--Things that made Carol frown

I want to apologize to my E gals about not posing more this summer.  I guess I have had my mind thinking on other life events and just didn't feel like writing at all, but here is another thing for you to think on wth mom and dad.

My daughter Carol died at age 19 a little over 5 years ago.   One of our friends who took her wedding pictures, now has 3 daughters and 2 of them knew Carol.   She asked it I would write some things about Carol so they could speak of her still and teach some things to them from hearing of Carol's life or how she approached life.

Many people always comment on what a lovely smile Carol always seemed to have on her face.  She lived life to the fullest but at times there was not a smile but a frown that she had for certain things that happened around her.  So this is "List of Things that made Carol Frown" 

The first  thing was if you were not loyal to a friend.  So if you told Carol
she was your friend then she expected you to support her no matter what and she for sure would be there for her friends  (even those friends she might not have seen alot). She often discussed some kind of drama going on at school between others (mostly girls) and how it made her sad that they could not get along better.  She truly valued a loyal friend.  And even she had some friends that she would have to continue to put up with their on again off again ways of friendship.these friends were great to be with most days, but on other days she just had to put up with their foolishness.  Yet she was always looking for those who she could offer a kind word to or invite them over to our house.

One thing  Carol did not like at all was dishonesty.  And I think she became more aware of this after she got out of school.  She saw how other people just could  lie so easy to her and to others. And how some people did not value other's hard work and would  steal from their Carol and Cooper's business.  She had  asked me several times "How do you know who you can trust and who you can't in life, and how do you know who will take advantage of your kindness?"  The best thing i could tell her was you just have to ask God to guide you in those decisions. And sometimes when you feel like God has not answered your prayers He may have answered themS in a way that you may not have expected but He will show you how it is for your betterment.   It may be to teach you a life lesson.  Life lessons can be hard, but know this: If you place every bit of your trust in God, He will be there with you in every situation to guide you and to let you know He loves you more than anything.  

Speaking of people who love you, like your sisters and your mom and dad...don't they make you frowm sometimes?  I know I did to Carol, but it is only because she took it the wrong way.  I mean, I never did intend to ask so many people to wear that crazy coat.   She hated it with a passion.  It made me smile though  to see her go crazy when i pulled the coat out.  But even though she did not like that coat, I know she knew that I loved her as much  That's what good moms and dads do.  And that is all that really matters.  

The guy who wrote about Carol in the newspaper had never met her but he talked with many people whom she knew and he described her in the first parqgraph as a frown flipper .  I think that is pretty neat, don't you.  And i think that would be a great way to honor God, is to share his love by wearing a smile and not a frown.  

Hugs from
judy

That song...."I can only imagine"...whew!

The reason I am bring this old post back up today is the movie about the man who wrote  the song "I can only imagine" which became a megahit, is premiering tonight March 16th.  I hope to see it and would encourage you to if you get a chance. ...

The picture below was taken during a break in a play we did several years at Antioch Baptist Johnson City and the dramatists in the heaven scene of the production of "Judgement House" in the fall of 2001. they would put on every year around Halloween. The heaven scene was often the culmination of the play and if you were a person in the scenes or a guide, you could tell that it got peoples attention. This play swas one the audience walked from scene to scene and the 'actors' in the scenes may have performed the same part around 30 times an evening. A typical night ran 3 hours long, 3 times a week for 3 weeks. It was a huge commitment but it had a great impact.

 I am not sure but this may have been the year in the heaven scene when the song "I can only imagine" was a hit. My daughter Carol told me that she and the others inthe heaven scene would often sing that song as they waited until the next group to "come to heaven". I think Sal Cicirello played Jesus in the heaven scene every year we did this and did an amazing job. He made chills run down your spine as he shook each person's hand who was there for the drama and this scene. He would also look into each person's eyes and you just knew what he was saying without even saying it.."do you know you will be here someday?:" My daughter, Carol is standing right in front of Sal in this picture, and I know ...no, I KNOW that she is THERE---> in HEAVEN and I can only imagine how big a smile she has on her face and she tells me "it's true --you just have to believe, OH HOW HE LOVES YOU ...can't wait to see you!: And I say i wish I had put this in the book I wrote about her: "Carol's Smile". 

 I know that song was also helpful when I had my first brain surgery for my electrodes in my head, and it was stressful, and they asked what kind of music i liked and I told them Christian music...it wasn't long and I heard "I can only imagine"and I thought about Carol being in heaven and everything seemed OK from there on out.  (Yes I was awake when they were operating on my brain in order for the doc to tell if the implant is in the right spot.  So I had to give them some feedback verbally and with some hand signals).

So go and see why the man wrote this song that became so popular and is so very descriptive of how we will all feel when we meet Jesus!  So many special people in this picture.  Thank you for making my daughter's smile even bigger because of your love!  Judy 3/16/18

Thoughts from the past 5/3/2008

A very special book, written by a person with Parkinson's contains a poem entitled "From Whom All Blessings Flow" in which the author states in the last section "God is at work all around us;  looking back we will see, it's through trials, He helps us live more faithfully. I praise God for each moment of life that He gives,each one molding my heart, into one more like His."   by Tamara Cantore

I recently attended a women's conference and the speaker spoke of praising God
even in the midst of trials. Now that is so very hard to do, but i am learning that when I can do this, my whole outlook on life changes.  When I can get out of the way and put God in the middle of my life, things change.  God desires the praise of his people.

One familiar doxology comes to mind...
Praise God from whom all blessings flow,
Praise Him all creatures, here and below,
Praise Him above yea heavenly hosts,
Praise Father , Son, and  Holy Ghost.  amen

I will praise You as long as I live, and in Your name
I will lift up my hands.  Psalm 63:4

slight modification 
3/6/2008
Judy

Thoughts from 2008

I recently found some journal writings I had in a booklet from 10 years ago.  As I read them and offer to share them with you, I can say  "Wow, ten years and I still feel much the same!"  A lot can change in each of our lives in 10 years.  Aren't you glad God does not change?  He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.  One thing that has changed in 10 years is my writing.  It is horrible due to Parkinson's disease. After awhile my journal entries are almost illegible.

This entry was dated 3/29/08

  Praise God in His sanctuary; praise Him in His mighty heavens.  Praise Him for His acts of power;praise Him for His surpassing greatness.  Psalm 150:1-2

It is looking alot like spring now, and that makes me happy.  New life is present in the buds on trees, and flowers blooming out in all their beauty.  I get excited this time of year because I can take pictures of God's beauty as it comes to be right before our eyes.  And to think God designed all of this for our enjoyment!  The flowers, the sun, the rain, the sunrise and the promise that HE has new mercies for us each day.  The prayer we learn as children touches on many things of God we are blessed with each day.   "God is great, God is good, let us thank Him for our food"....and water, and the earth's first fruits.  He really is great, and good.  And He loves to hear us give Him praise.  So try it today!

Modified slightly on 3/6/2018
by Judy

5th year since Carol died 2/27/13

It has been 5 years since Carol died and some amazing and special things have happened. It started last weekend.   Karen and I took our Jim Good to hear his favorite bluegrass band in Greenville TN (Doyle Lawson and Quicksilver).  On the way home, I got a message

  that the boys team from Tri Cities had won the state championship for the TSAAC(Christian schools) in basketball.  And #22 was there again on Caleb Rose!  Way to represent, Caleb!  Caleb asked to wear #22 when he came to play at TCCS.  He and Carol were good friends when he was a yung fella, and I know she would be happy athis success this year (and his brother Aaron, too).

For reference, in 2010 when Cooper was a senior, the boys won the state basketball championship.The girls were there playing for the second year in a row, but they had not gotten their taste of a championship win, but they were next in line.  In the 2010 tourney the girls were playing with heavy hearts because their beloved Coach Anderson had just died from colon cancer.The girls  were not successful winning a state championship but they sure would have made Coach proud!  The next two years (2010-2011 & 2011-2012)the girls won the state championship with Carol Hensley (#22) taking MVP honors.  The next year the two teams were going back to near Nashville to play in the state tourney again, when they heard Carol had died.  The TCCS girls put Carol's jerzee (#22) on a chair at the end of the seats for the players and played their hearts out..AND they won!  They had dominated teams and came home with the 3rd Championship for the girls basketball program( '11,'12, '13).

The girls team was hit by tragedy again when Coach Jack Blevins passed after a hard fought battle against cancer in early 2015. But the one constant each time the girls played in the regional or state games was Coach Leuzinger's  pink converse she would wear.

So maybe this is the start again of great runs for the girls with next years team.....who knows?

Two friends met-up with me  with me to see the Lady Vols play their last home game of the 2018 season  on Feb 25th against South Carolina at Knoxville, and lady Vols won!(recall Carol & Cooper went to see the UT men basketball team play Florida the night before she died?)

The next thing was Caroline Singletary (Carol's sister-in-law) had blogged about Carol's death and how it changed her life's perspective.  She said it took her 5 years to get the courage up to write about it. It is excellent! Go to www.carolinesingletary.com to read it.

A dear friend of mine, Tammy Rowe, was able to eat lunch with me on the
Feb 27,2018.  We spoke about how long and short 5 years has been and I told her about how the the weekend had gone, we smiled as we knew her spirit was still among us in very special ways.

And on March 3, 2018 (the 5year anniversary of Carol's "Celebration of Life")
 I was in Knoxville again to hear a bereaved mother speak to a group in and around the Knoxville area who have experienced the death of a child.  I had read the book this speaker had written about the single car accident that took her teen son's life,  it is "Grief:A Momma's Unwanted Journey " by Shelley Ramsey.  It was such a great honor to meet her (and I gave her a copy of my book about Carol, "Carol's Smile.")

As I look back on the last couple of weekends surrounding the 5th year of my daughters death, I think so many friends and family have helped me get through this difficult time.  And I know I am closer to seeing her again  Thank you all for your concern for Cooper, too!  I think he is the best kind of guy and I would ask you to pray for him, cause I know it is hard for him as well.

And I pray that we all can keep her legacy and her love and her spirit alive for anyone here who needs to witness it.

judy
mar 5, 2018

Help me Knock Out PD by getting a shirt

Help me Knock Out PD by getting a shirt.  I need to sell 45 more (IN 9 DAYS)

to get the campaign to be a success  and have them all print.  So follow this link and see some really cool tshirts and vnecks

https://www.bonfire.com/welcome/de4e18511ccf4/.  i ONLY HAVE 9DAYS TO GET THIS MANY!

How do we live with the what-ifs and the if-onlys of our CHildren taken before Us?

at Carol's wedding 8/21/12

Five years now (Feb 27,2018) and it seems like 50 to me.  Five years ago our only child died.  Since then I have lived a life of "What- if's and If-onlys."  My inner most being still cries out with messy questions (those that can never really be answered) like of :  If-only ...she  did not die 5 years ago?  what-if ...this...what-if that??? plus a hundred more questions...some asked over and over... how are we supposed to live ???? without her.???  At times I feel like I am drowning in a sea of questions ...of what-if' and if-onlys

And there have been many times the questions continued with a more intense desire for answers than I could understand. I have raised my hand and banged it on the table as ..I just.... let GOD... have it:  "YOU, yeah you GOD, you have no right ....to take my child with or without my permission!"  I can be pretty bold at times...not that it helps any because GOD gently reminds me....
with or without His permission or His act of creation, none of us would be here...I would not have had Carol..maybe I would be the momma to some one else with a great personality and abilities like she had, but they would not have been her.  Isn't that so weird to think about??? But I know this, she or he?? would have been loved just the same!

 Carol was an amazing light in my world.  She was well known for her smile that covered her face almost all the time. You have heard of someone lighting up a room with their smile.?  That was what Carol would do!  And what that light means and meant to others, I know will add up to be more than I could ever imagine. I am constantly thinking about what life would be like if she were still here.  I know she would be content with her life, and she would still be smiling.  So when of think of her life and many of her escapades I can smile too!  And hopefully I can continue Carol's life-gift with the same passion she did!

 So I choose to cherish every second in memories of thankfulness and I try to recount and share with others.   At age 19, Carol's  light here on earth was  snuffed out without warning to join the heavenly host to sing God's glory to all  creation {with numerous choruses of praise, adoration and revelation's song}.  And here is no place I would rather her be at than in heaven!

I am not sure I  know what to do without her, even after 5 long years of missing her.  And the only way I can find to keep her legacy alive is to write about her.  Some have asked me if i have stopped writing, to which I usually reply "No, i'm just waiting on my latest inspiration. "  My inspiration today is that in a weeks time we will face the loss of her on Feb.27 ...but we will not face it alone. One thing that always seems to happen around this time is  that I am reminded that my loss is significant, and at times seems overwhelming, but I know I am not alone.

First of all, GOD will be with me.  He will remind me that Carol sends me much love and that she is doing well.  He will remind me that she lived her life here abundantly because she knew well, those that loved her. And even though I cannot hold hernow, He will keep her safe for all eternity! And that is a promise I cling to.

Second, I have met many mommas who have never even gotten to share life outside of the womb with their children.  It breaks my heart every time I hear their story. I have met them, and take hope in the journey that their little one will  have with God for all time.  And other mommas who had such a short time to love and cherish their little ones.  We ask about God's time and rational for taking them to heaven? Well... we can never understand..maybe, at just the right time God will reveal his plan for all our lives (those who live with and without loved ones). And how we respond to this revelation will be something to benefit not just us but many who are living without God's love in their hearts.

And I have met many who have loved and lost a child at different ages, and some of them know without God's great promises there is no way they can make it through the tragedy of losing a beloved child.  God promises to grant us an abundant life on earth if we believe in  the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus, and what significance it has for us now and for all of eternity.

So here are some  questions I think Carol might ask of us:
In your life, What -if ...there was no way of obtaining God's great love?
                                  ...there was no way to spend eternity with God?
                                 .....God did not keep His promises?
              .           ... God was only available when He thought we needed to ask                                   Him things?
                             ...God could not understand our pain and offered no love, no             protection, no mercy or grace.?
And then I think Carol would ask us to make out a list of the most important people in our lives.  Look at it.  If God isn't at the top then all the others underneath will just always be shifting.  But if you put God first in all your life's activities, then the names below God's will arrange themselves in perfect order!  And many of our 'what-if's' and 'if-only' questions would become much less important to solve in our lives!

We need to realize that God is holding all our children close and showering us with love and grace.  But most of all we can find hope in God's plan for our lives and this gift we have been  given, we should then share it with others!

Thank you God for the hope in Jesus and for your promise of Heaven being in our  grasp and  we will see our children again.

Judy Hensley
feb 2018

Speaking her Mind

Has someone ever told you "that a little bird told them so" about something you had not heard before or wished to know how some information got spread?

I have had a little birdie tell me how Carol's life was after she left our house and began her life as Cooper's wife and Roxy's mom.  I am so grateful for the many people who have shared with me what an amazing young woman she turned out to be and how she was "getting it" about many things.  One thing in particular I wish I could have heard myself was the speech Carol gave her basketball team about how badly they were playing in a regional game when they came into the locker room at the half down 12 points. Carol apparently gave the girls the "we are gonna  get out there and  overcome a 12 point deficit and we are going to win this game and go on to the next level " in an unexpected speech.

Ashley Hofer told that story to Trey Williams when he wrote an article about Carol in the Johnson City Press.  Ashley said as soon as everyone who had been playing got in the locker  room at half-time, Carol lit into them.  I don't think she normally did that which might explain their looks on their faces  when Coach Brandon  got back there.  He said "do I need to say anything?"They looked at him and said "no, Carol took care of that."  And you know what? They came out of the locker room and won that game and went on to win the first girls state title in basketball in their conference for TCCS.

I think a little birdie would have told me "you would be proud of Your daughter,".Carol gave an inspiring/motivation  speech  that lit a fire under her team. And her words were probably a mix of each coach all the way back to Mrs. Wheeler, Mrs Hill, and Mr. Kevin and what they might have said  in the same situation...  What Mr. Hall ,Mr, Hofer, Mr, Stribling, Mr. Hayes, Mr. Jim Richmond, Coach Leuzinger, and Coach Jack Blevins,  Coach Brandon Stamper, and Coach Anderson would have said to motivate them like they needed to be.

Maybe  Carol knew it was her place to say some things her team  needed to hear said from one of their own.  Urging them to "go play like they knew they could; to never give up, to give it their all, cause it wasn't just about a game or them or any one person.  It was about their team and what they could do for one another."   And to think all  of it came together... to one who had a passion for playing, to one whose desire was to do her best, to not let her team down, and to do what they all knew in their heart was possible, and my daughter may have told them something probably very different ....but I like to think it was a speech pulled from all the ones she had heard before... a reminder of all of those those prior comebacks that they had ..and some encouragement that they needed to get in their hearts, and how they needed to play as a team.  Now, that makes me proud!

In his eulogy of  Carol, her youth pastor Johnny Byrd, told how proud he was of Carol when she stood up one night and gave those at youth group an unprepared talk how they could make their lives count.  And that makes me even prouder!

Maybe as time goes along and others pause to remember Carol Hensley Singletary they will have something come to mind that is special enough to share.  And a little bird with tell me so.  Thank you God for gifts of stories from little birdies about my girlie!!

Judy Hensley
jan/2018