Why am I blogging?

My daughter's smile is the lovely one you see above! I love to see people smile! Maybe that is why ...I like to capture smiles or snapshots of things that make others smile with my camera. I know we can't go through every minute of life with a smile but I hope that even when life is hard we can have a peace that others will notice and desire. My blog initially started as a way to honor my mom and her great outlook on life. She died in May 2010 from cancer. I don't think I can ever due justice to her life but I hope I can live my life in a way that would make her proud. The one other great privilege I have had is to be Carol Hensley Singletary's mother. She was our only child and she died suddenly on Feb .27, 2013. She was 19 years old. Her zest for life, her smile and her loving personna is missed by many, but none more than by her husband of just 6 months, Cooper. We carry on by grace and faith in God, and will look for any means to smile while we are left here on this earth for some reason by God. What I would give just to see the beautiful smile of my mom and daughter again! I know without a doubt I will someday, but until then I am going to try and praise my God and King in the life's good days and through life's pains. And i'm sharing here ...in hopes that you will smile with me. judy!

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

BIRTHDAY THOUGHTS(from 2012) I WROTE TO CAROL ON HER 19th & 1st AWAY FROM HOME; Inspired by a Marci Book for her daughter

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I posted these on the Group page in Facebook called "Carol's Smile" during Oct 2013. These were inspired from a little paperback book I had given Carol for her birthday last year 2012 by Marci "To my Daughter -Love and Encouragement to carry with you on your Journey Through Life." It has about 40 topics she addresses accompanied by cute b/w drawings. I got it about a month before her 19th birthday because I wanted to write some of my personal thoughts that were brought out by Marci's thoughts. I did not necessarily have a thought for each of the topics.

I just recently got the book back and thought I would share a few with you this month. Carol's birthday is OCT 28th.

The first one of the pages I turned to the other day must have surely been God's goodness to remind me who is got this all under control. on pg 28-29 Marci describes some things she attempted to teach her daughter like: "to work hard, to give your best, to love completely, to sacrifice, and no matter what , to trust in God....and the beautiful reward that is found in giving and also *******here's the part i needed reminding of********--->>>>> everything happens for a reason, even if we never understand it.' And at the bottom at that page it had a lil picture that had these 3 words on it (which happen to be some of my favorites too) FAITH HOPE LOVE. I wrote at the bottom my thought to Carol: I'm not too sure how effective I was at teaching you the 'deep' stuff of life, but I'm pretty sure you are gonna do just fine!! Love u! Mom <<<<<< on some pages I highlighted words and had highlighted the "everything happens for a reason sentence. Maybe the book was not just for Carol

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pg 46 "5 Keys to Happiness" although i know in my heart Carol was so happy with her life at the time of her
death, it was that way for many resaons. Here are 5 Marci mentions 1- realize happiness is a decision 2- Happiness is contageous,, make some one smile (I think we can all agree Carol gets an A+ on this one) 3=be grateful for even the little things 4=Acceptance of the belief that everything happens for a reason will give more happiness than if not and 5- give away some courage every day ! When you ENcourage others to 'hang in there'..you will find an unENding source of happiness. I had circled the whole paragraph for #5 and said "when you can do this even when it is so hard, you will have a joy that is really hard to describe" .
All that I can add to this is: in the almost 8 months since she died, so many people of all ages have told us story after story of how Carol encouraged them. it was like it was her true mission in life to help others lift up their sights to see that things will be better and that she would be there for them when things weren't so good. Yes, I have no doubt that she died, a happy, content, and courageous young woman. I can do less than to thank God for the blessing of Carol in my life and in the lives os so many we did not even know about. Helping someone be courageous is saying "i believe you CAN DO it. Yep , that was my girl...Carol you can do anyting, and so can I. I love you and miss you. Help me be courageous Friday when i have my surgery. I know-I already turned over all the worries to God and I know you will be holding my hand.. Love u, mom


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pg 10-11 "The bond between us is EVERLASTING" Marci writes "I watched you grow and have come to understand that our lives have been brought together for a reason. I have learned as much from you as you have from me. Thank you for your love and for sharing all that is uniquely you. The bond we have is
everlasting."
All I can add right now is that for some reason I wish I could tell Carol "thank you! for all you taught me" out loud right now and she could hear it. She is still teaching me things even tho she is gone, and it is because our bond as mother and daughter will survive anything AND IT WILL LAST FOREVER. I told Bill tonight, we were not lucky to have Carol ...we were BLESSED to have her as our daughter. That means her life was a gift given to us without us doing anything to deserve it. And I will tell you this: my daughter's spirit and our special mother/daughter bond helped me get through my DBS surgery last week. I focused in my mind seeing her play basketball on those days when she played against bigger, better shooting, faster players without frustration and I told myself "I taught her some of that determination, now put it to use for yourself.... suck this up and push through this intense discomfort. Carol's spirit was cheering me on and I just want her to know that i needed it so and i love her for caring about me.
People!,,,,, it is the little things in life we need to stop and take note of and give thanks for at times. Before those times get gone. Before we are alone and all those people we needed to say thank you to are gone. And for sure, we need to thank the giver of all blessings because he made us for that purpose!.
My prayer today: OH God over all the universe and lover of my soul, you graced my life with the blessing of Carol Michelle Hensley Singletary almost 20 years ago. I don't know why you let that time go by so fast, 'cause i wish I could have so many of them back. But in your God-sized wisdom, you took her to her heavenly home. Although it has been hard to not have her here any more, I thank you for letting her spirit forever be entwined with mine. On some days just thinking about her love is the extra push i need , and oon ther days it is your sustaining strength that i require!!! Hold my girl tight for me and whisper my love to her. Tell her I'll see her soon, so stay fired up and we'll have a blast when i get to hug her again!!!-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




P66-67 "Daughter these are my promises to you:" Marci writes" I promise to always love you" Mine to Carol "I will always and forever love you --no matter where you are"
Marcie writes"I promise to always care about your happiness" Mine to Carol "I am glad I do not have to worry if you were ever happy or if you are happy now. You showed us all how happy you were with Cooper and I know you are beyond happy now in heaven". Marcie wrote "I promise to support your dreams and encourage the talents you have" Mine to Carol "I guess I will leave it to Cooper to help your dreams be real and he knows your Daddy and I will be here for him in all he does; and as for your talents being encouraged, you needed no help with that, your greatest talent was your smile and how you encouraged all kinds of people. I hope that in many ways we can carry on that trait to others as a tribute to your spirit."

And one last thing, i hope that every person who knew you, or is just now getting to know you will see and desire to have an influence on other's lives like you did, you still have, and will for a long time...that is my mission now...to add your light and mom's light to mine so that everyone can know about the amazing love we shared as a family and how it was a gift from God to make us family. I hope that through your life and death that others will know that your greatest joy came from loving others like God loved/loves you!!!!! i love you and feel you here with me in so many special ways. Hugs from me up to you

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pg 59 Marci writes to her daughter: "you have given me so much to be thankful for as I watch you move
through life and develop all the qualities that make you so beautiful. Your SHINING spirit fills my heart and makes me so PROUD to call you my daughter". "I love you".

I guess as all parents we can say 'we are blessed' and it is only natural to be proud of our kids! I wrote to Carol on the same page: 'People have always commented about your most engaging personality and how you always seem HAPPY! I think people who notice it most are most envious of that quality. It makes me proud that you make people feel that way! Keep on doing it--I think it is a beautiful quality of YOU! '

By the way Carol, did you hear we had a bunch of people pack boxes because they wanted to do something nice in your memory on the day before your birthday? They filled over 84 boxes....we could feel your sweet presence with us!!! Thank you! lov ya,mom

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