A Poem inspired from attending the Parkinson's Unity Walk

If you didn't know it I thought I might do a little part in telling you that April is important to me because it is Parkinson's Awareness Month.   As part of that, the largest grass roots fundraising event for Parkinson's Disease is held in April in Central Park, New York City .

I have not been  to the Parkinson's Unity Walk in New York City for  several years, but did make in 3 years in a row in 2006, 2007, 2008 and it was always a very special time for me, my family and friends who joined me at the event of hope for a change in the future of all who have PD.  Usually around 10,000 people are there to encourage one another and make a statement about the continued hope foe a cure.

 The walk is also special to me because it is near, or as it is this year, on my mother's birthday.   She was my biggest supporter as I faced life with Parkinson's.   She also instilled into me a faith and courage drawn from a strong faith, hope, and love in God.    I will be thinking of and cheering on all  who will be in the walk this year.  I would like to share this poem that was inspired from the walk I attended in 2008.   I wrote this on the plane on the way back home from the walk in 2008.  

To find our more about how you can help in the fight against PD see Parkinson's Unity Walk and an article about our team the first year I did the walk along with my Jerzee PD Pal, Annie is at 2006 PUW team of Annie and Judy

I’m learning PD’s not as strong
When I face it with a heart filled with song.
And what a gift to receive… a smile, from a friend,
That helps me make it to another day’s end.

I cannot think of it all
And ignore blessings, big or small,
That come from the Father above
Who smiles down on me with kindness and love.

No matter the circumstance or place
He promises He will not hide His face…
Love, grace, and mercy He will supply
Even when we struggle and ask “why?”

Father, this road looks too hard for me
Would you send someone encouraging?
And give me strength to face each day,
With courage, hope, and faith, I pray.

For I know you are in control
Of all of me: heart, mind, and soul
Let me be a reflection of your goodness
To those around me who may be happy or in distress

I want my life to follow your plan
As I walk among my fellow man
And one day may your voice I hear
Telling me you’ve found my love for you honest and sincere

And that I am welcomed into the Heavenly place
And will spend eternity in Your love and grace!

all rights reservered 2008 Judy Hensley

Had blogger's block!

Wow, I took a nice little break over the holidays from blogging.  In fact longer than I meant to.  It didn't take long for me to hit blogger's block.   I could give lot of reasons.  One is I am bad to start things and not finish them.  But this blog was initiated after a conversation with a friend who also has Parkinson's disease. 

I could have made this blog focus on Parkinon's because it is a large part of my life these days.  I have not focused on PD as a major emphasis of this blog because there are lot of things I think about and would love to hear your thoughts as well.  Who knows....we may solve the world's problems here--or at least feel better about just getting some things off of our chest,

 This blogging deal....i guess it is what ever I make it. It is making me feel some pressure to be more consistent and to stick with it.   I almost feel the need to apologize for not writing more, but i am going to forgo the apology (as I recall a friend asking me "why do you always feel like you must apologize for little things?"  maybe she has a point!  See Kim, i am trying to implement your advise!  Thank you for your sincere and honest evaluation of a personal improvement or me.)  I also am struggling with just how much emotion to share as well.  Sometimes passion is good but on the other hand it can cause others to keep away.   So bear with me as I try to find if this bloggin' is really my thing or not. 

  I thought I would share this poem that came to me tonight as i spoke with a dear friend with PD and the personal toll it can take on your emotions and self esteem.   We were kind of going back and forth talking about some of the frustrating things of having PD but in the end we both agreed we were going to do the best we could to hold on the the lifeboat  longer than each other, and then pulling the boat finally on the shore and being able to be cured, to live normal again, to feel like we are not a burden, and to know that our children and their children will not have to endure possibly having such a disease.  Until then, it is prayers and encouraging words that keep us going, and the amazing love and power of God the FATHER .                             

Life's test are HIS teaching  tools
  by Judy Hensley Jan 14, 2013

We have all heard these encouraging sayings
"Never give up and never give in"
"Life handing you lemons?  Make lemon-aid then!"
but oh if I could just find out how to stop others from  raining on my parade......
      I would have it made!

Don't you agree that all these sayings are  easier said than  done
especially when life feels like a marathon  you must run
and when we encounter numerous hurdles to overcome,
           it can seem like life is too hard to bear
but God is faithful to help us carry on, when we seek HIS love,  guidance, mercy  and tender care!

So consider how and where your life  journey will take you and where it may end and you may be surprised
that no matter wherever life takes you ---with God as your guide,
the steepest mountain peeks you will  crest, the deep valleys you will pass through
and how from the stormiest sea, He will provide a safe landing on the shore for you.

We should not view life's hardships as being there to beat us down
but to teach us well who guides our path and for each victory praise him with  joyful sound
for all HE  has done and forever more will do
in everything HE shows us, as his beloved children, that His promises are timeless and true!

Find strength and hope in each day!!
judy

A Very Good Team

Just thought I would share a very good memory  that always makes me smile:  me and Annie Konopka USA-PD PALS Top Fundraising Team During Their Very First Unity Walk Unity Walk - Shining Stars

A Hope for Any Life Surprise

Life is full of surprises.  Most of us love surprises because when we control them they are usually good.  But life's surprises' can  be overwhelming at times.  If we ever have any hope of pulling through those times it requires more than just our own strength.  The note I include here is a note    that I wrote to my cousin BJ who, at the age of 30, had a motorcycle wreck that paralyzed him from the chest down.   I grew up playing with him and his brother Michael.  In this note you will find details about my life altering illness of Parkinson's disease.  I was trying to encourage him about the   long haul he would have with his injury based on some experience I had when I was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease.   BJ died from complications of his injuries 5 days after I gave him this letter. 

As I look back on those days, I see how much my cousin and his wife encouraged many of us even at that time, and I just wanted to share this with you, so that you can know something that might be of benefit to you someday.  I believe our life  surprises are a part of the gift we are given each day, and  that we may not be able to ever know what 'good' may come out of it, but all of our lives have a  purpose.  And the surprises of life are given to make us stronger if we will just look deep enough.

It is my hope that my words and a glimpse of BJ's life and his determination to carry on would help someone facing an overwhelming life event.  I hope you will understand what is important to me and the hope that  helps me get through each day.  I would like to thank BJ's wife for permission to share this note.

4/1.0/04

Dear BJ,

I wanted to write you a note and tell you some things that we might not get to say before you go to Atlanta. First let me say that I love you and want you to ask me to do anything that you might need for me to do to help you and Angie. Do not ask me because you think I can, ask me even if you think I can't--I want to be able to do something for you. And don't worry, I am sure there will be a day that you can return the favor, OK?

I was thinking last night about the times we have had together. All of them were before you were a teenager. I think back to the times when Karen and I would wrestle with you in the floor at Mammaw's house on Sundays. (this was your first non-professional sport!) You were about 3-5 years old and were run headlong right into one of us and we would roll to the ground. You were happy the more people there were to take on. Then we would team up on Karen or you and Karen would team up on me! Now, I want you to know that we are teaming up with you to wrestle again, to make you strong. You keep charging at your adversary and wrestle with all your might, just like you used to do when you were 4, OK, to get back into the swing of life!

The next fun times (I would call the wrestling fun, until you got big enough to start winning!) I recall are swimming at your pool with you, Michael, and Karen. What a great time we had! You and Michael would be little Indian-colored water dogs then! I remember us jumping off the board seeing who could make the biggest splash or the wildest jump. You and Michael always amazed me then with your daring feats into the water. It's probably a miracle one of us didn't end up more seriously hurt back then! But I want you to take some risks, and do the incredible --blow them away with your determination and spirit in Atlanta! I will be cheering you on just like we used to do at the pool!

We have grown and started our families now, and the demands of life have made our paths diverge. I don't know your heart like I would like to be able to at this time. But I hope you have a strong faith in God, in yourself, and in your family. The first is so important. We don't always realize how important it is until we face a personal crisis. I do no know how people can cope if they do not have faith and hope in an eternal, unchanging God who cares for us! So please, if you don't have faith in God, I am praying that you will draw near to Him, lean on Him, and mostly trust Him! And if you ever want to talk about this, please ask me.

I would like to tell you how I am coping with my own personal illness of Parkinson's disease. In a way, we have an unusual common link now. We both have a neurological problem. Yours has been immediate blockage of nerve communication; mine is a slow deterioration of nerve cells in my brain that used to like to use dopamine to control my muscles. When I first started having pain in my left thumb and shoulder, and then in my left foot, I thought I had arthritis. It would seem to get worse on rainy or cold days. But when the orthopedic doctor sent me to a neurologist I got scared. Now with the great advent of the Internet, I was able to try and see what he thought was wrong with me. Talk about being scared---I figured before I went to the neuro logist  that I had Parkinson's or MS. Both looked pretty damn depressing (excuse my French,,but that is exactly how I felt). I remember laying in bed one night and crying until the bed shook and telling Bill that I just hoped what I had was not hereditary and could possibly affect Carol one day. (of the two, MS had more hereditary possibilities). As it turns out, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease-- a slow degenerative dying of dopamine using cells in a small region of my brain. I am able to be almost symptom free at this time due to advances in medication that I take everyday, three times a day (that was and adjustment in it's own way for me). If you read the about the side effects of  the medicines, one of the side effects is that it can cause sudden sleepiness in some people. Well it has an opposite affect on  me--I can stay up until 1-2 am with no problem now. The only problem is that it catches up with me about one day a week. But hey that feeling was is much better than coming home from work so tired that I had to take a nap everyday! The other thing that struck me as common for us now is that our illness/injuries are also shared by famous actors (isn't that neat -just joking). It is because of Michael Fox and Christopher Reeve that our conditions are getting funds for research that may pay off in our life-times with advances that could improve our life. But until then, I can only place my hope in Christ to get me through each day!

I want you to know that I do not know how I would have handled my diagnosis if I had not had faith in God, if I hadn't had friends and family telling me that they were praying for me, and if i hadn't had a husband who is trying to understand and love me through it all. I certainly did not realize how fortunate and blessed I was to have my spouse at this time in my life, but now I thank God for Bill more now than before, and I should have done it before I got PD. Some many things we learn in hind-sight, huh?

When I was diagnosed with PD, I was scared about how long it would be that I could work; how long would I be able to drive; would I be able to play with any grandchildren I might have; would Carol someday resent me or my illness; would I encounter depression like many PD patients; would my friends and co-workers treat me differently; and lots of other things. But I can honestly say I can not stay scared long about any of these things when I think about how good God has been to me, and how he has promised that he will always be with me, that he will not allow me to endure more than I am able, and how that I may not be able to see it now but there is a God-sized-plan for me and I know it is for my good! I am convinced that it takes valuable time and energy away from us when we debate 'Why me?????" with God. He knows why and he will reveal it to me in His own time. It is our job, as believers in His goodness and grace, to live our lives to the best of our ability to bring honor and glory to Him. Only then can we live life and receive the ABUNDANT joy that He wants to give us. I heard someone say that it is hard to give God glory for our trials. They said that is not what the Bible says, it says to give God the glory while we are IN our trials. Perspective can make a whole lot of difference in our attitude! Think on that awhile. I thought up this little saying : Our attitude is a reflection of our gratitude.  So many people today do not have a good attitude because they have not reflected on their situation with a sense of gratitude. I am praying that your attitude will be strong through the love and mercy of our Father, and that His love and never failing promises will allow you to rise above the confines of your physical body to soar to new heights of confidence and love! And if you ever need to talk, or just have someone share a cry or hold your hand, just call me, OK? Just because I have a medical condition doesn't mean I can't find a way to do what a friend may need from me. As long as we have our heart, mind, and God with us, we can do anything!

Cousin, I thank God for the good times that we have had, and for the GREAT times we will have in the future. We have not only a common bond by blood, but now by medical conditions, but our great BOND is the love of JESUS. And that is where our TRUE STRENGTH comes from. DO NOT TAKE IT FOR GRANTED, PUT IT TO USE!!!!!

Love and prayers,  Judy