POEM The Day Carol was Born (A recollection on her 23rd Birthday)

For Carol's 23rd birthday: And a short explanation: When Carol was little and she could not get to sleep, she would ask me to tell her "About the day I was born":. So here is a lttle bit of the story...maybe it will work, on you too...putting you to sleep, i mean.

The Day You Were Born : Carol MIchelle Hensley..

Twenty three years ago on this day,
It was a beautiful fall day and we were so excited
To meet our new, first and only little Baby Hensley
And we’d get to finally know if you were a boy or a girl!

It all started when I awoke early on OCT 28, 1993 and wondered
If this was to be the day that you would come to stay??!!
When my water broke I told your Daddy to call the nurse
And ask if we needed to report to the hospital
They said “Yes, you might have a baby in your arms by days end!

Daddy was calm driving to the hospital
It helped that traffic was light at the time of 4 a.m!

At the hospital they got me all comfy
And hooked me and you up with lots of wiring
To monitors designed to tell them all sorts of things.
When I started having some discomfort
they asked if I wanted “the good drug?”
The one that would make me not feel a thing.
I responded : “YES, PLEASE, HURRY, Give that “ good drug” to me!!!!
That lasted well until they said I needed to start “pushing”
So I did until you decided to make your debut….
I was getting tired and it was late, when you finally decided to cooperate,
And you were born at 10:47pm  on 10/28, 1993!



A beautiful baby girl whom we named Carol Michelle Hensley,
Arriving at 8 pounds even and 20 and a half inches long
with a lil bit of hair and amazing green eyes.

This bundle of love we would get to know well in 19 years.
We tried our best…. to raise and love you well,
And then Cooper took that over.
And then we dreamed new dreams for both of you!.

Things did not turn out how we would have liked
Because you died suddenly …and way to young ..living just 19 years.

But we place our hope and faith in this thought.
Today, we know… you are so happy in your heavenly home
And we cannot wait to see you again
Surely God will not make us wait too long!


So today as your mom, I choose to remember with great pride
The lovely life you lived,
your heart that you had for others,
And one of many things thing I miss so bad… your sweet smile

And I know that our girl’s spirit is not dead,

But instead….. is… so very alive!


I will always love you, my Carol girl!
Give everyone a hug up in heaven from me,

Mom

Judy Hensley 10/28/2016

Daddy's 78th birthday (a month late)

I thought I would tell you about my Daddy today, since it is his birthday.  He is 78 (or so he says).  He gets along pretty good, but you can tell he is slowing down.  Of course most people would be complaining like crazy, but Dad doesn't like to bring attention to himself.

He still holds down the fort on Pactolas Road by himself.  He did give me a scare the other day when I stopped by his house.  Both vehicles were there, but no answer by him on the cell or home phone.  And the lights in front of the house where off and it was 4 pm.  I went to the neighbors house to ask if she had seen Daddy out that day, and she said "no".  She promptly headed out her door and around the back making sure I stayed in the front yard.  In just a few seconds she had found him in his 'cave' aka known as "the place of tomatoes."  There he keeps as many tomatoes for as long as he can along with  other sundry items stored there (some of which we were told not to tell Momma about!).  Mom only ventured down in the basement when no one else was there togo get something she needed.

When we found him in the basement amongst his tomatoes, he said he was "making ice cream for my own party and listening to the radio,"  And he had his cell phone on vibrate!.   I had called Karen to alert her and she was coming right over.  I was so glad to tell her we found daddy downstairs and she did not have to come.  Jim Good was gonna make it to his birthday party after all!


You know something?  Daddy really deserves the admiration so many people have for him.  He is kind, caring,  and doesn't know a stranger.  As far as being kind,  he is kind in the most unusual ways; he enjoys giving others tomatoes or apples  from  the market.  He also will make some homemade ice cream whenever Karen asks him to do  so. He has even made ice cream in January just for Karen's birthday! He doesn't crank the ice cream  by hand but he whips up some really good plain vanilla ice cream most times.  He has botched a few batches  of late when he wasn't sure if he put in  all of the  ingredients.  We forgave him and told him every one is allow to goof up a batch every now and then.

 It has bothered me for years that my dad worked shift work for years and missed many band concerts and sport events, but I realized that was his way of caring for his family. He worked hard and long at Eastman and raising tobacco to fund our Christmases and vacation for many years.  He even tried his hand at college on the GI bill just so we could go to Florida/Disney World one year..  Turns out that algebra and Daddy just never did click.

And the other thing I admire Daddy for is the way he honored his parents and took such good care of mom when she had cancer.  He also lost a good friend to cancer too--Ken Sells.  He and Daddy were a hoot, and I do believe he was one of Dad's dearest friends.  In fact Ken's youngest daughter, Kim has the same birthday as Daddy.  She saw our selfie we took at his party at Karen and Steve's home and Daddy said she called him to wish him a Happy Birthday!   It really did make his day, he told me.  Thank you Kim!

So here this is...getting finish a month after his birthday.  Since then he has had an implant put in his back to help with the pain he has down his leg and is doing well with it!  I told him that we would give them fits on an airplane if both of us traveled together now (since I have brain implants).  I would like to tell him "Daddy you are the BEST!!!!", and "I hope this coming year brings lots of good things your way!"

If you happen to run into Jim Good, mention that you read about him on the internet.  His reply will most likely be "What did Judy or Karen write about me now?"  He really likes it, I think...getting some attention, so we will oblige him!  Love you Daddy!

Judy 10/26/16

Sharing My Thoughts from 9-11-01 and Today

In just a few more days, the media will (hopefully) still have some honoring and tasteful coverage of the events of September 11, 2001.  Since this weekend will be the 15th anniversary of that event and my own calendar is getting pretty full, I thought I would share "why I think it is important for us to NEVER FORGET that day" a few days ahead of time.

You know, these days, being "patriotic" seems to have new meanings.  To me, it is feeling of pride in honoring people, ideas, and even a flag (which holds many more meanings) for which this USA is founded  and known as a great country!  It does mean "red, white, and blue" and "united" and many other things we all could add to this sentiment of "patriotic".

Before I think up whole new concept of what 9-11-01 means to me, maybe I will just let you read what I wrote about September the 11th, 15 years ago.   Zoom in to read, I didn't want to try and type again.

These were just a few things that I thought of that day when those claiming to be terrorists, really just cowards, thought they could bring us down.   It was a day of feelings you know you will never forget.   

In the ensuing days and weeks, these people who made up the United States of America found new reasons to make each life matter, each memory matter,  and even each death matter.  Today, as best as I could find the death toll from the hands of the enemy that day is two thousand, nine hundred seventy -six.   I wrote it out so that maybe it will seem as large as it is.   And the ripple effect to the numbers of family and friends who lost that day is innumerable.  And that my friends, is why we need to remember.  There are too many of us who cannot even fathom a wicked act such as 9-11 happening,  But it did and we must always be diligent in protecting  our nation against such again. 

For that reason, the flag to me will always mean "unity" ....something of which our country these days has in short supply.  We must be diligent in making sure others will know that terrorism is not going to stop our country.  From the rubble of the foundations of building and planes will rise the hearts of unity and a strong defense in order to let cowards know of our intent:  to be true to our HEARTS and HERITAGE,: to RESPECT those who defend us, to HONOR those who have given up much to keep this nation strong and free, and to have COMPASSION for those around us, to KEEP in HIGH REGARD the principals on which our country was founded  I know of no better way to show this than to show HONOR to our United States of American flag.  It is just a symbol, but a strong one that has represented our solidarity.

 A flag is just a symbol, but how you treat it, how you show RESPECT for it, shows me where your heart and mind is at.  Maybe you should google up just how many men and women have died in several wars and deployments around the world to make this country what it can be, what it is, and what it has been.  And if that doesn't strike a chord of gratitude, then I don't think anything will.  

As for me, when I see red, white and blue, or I intentionally put on those colors,  I  think of and wear them with pride for my country.  And there is a hope in my heart that God will continue to bless this land, this people, and these ideas that have made it great. And that is why I think it is important for us to always remember:  there are those who want what we have, what we hold as true. and they are our enemies.  I will forever know that Freedom is not Free and many have given me this honor of  living in the USA and the freedom to to ask my GOD to continue HIS mercy and grace to us as he has since our founding fathers stepped foot on this soil.

Judy Hensley

9-8-2016

The Dance of Hope

 (NOTE:  the original blog was first posted at Parkinson's Journey, by Sherri Woodbridge when i was just starting to blog)

I just caught a few minutes of a show my daughter was watching on TV.  .It was a dance contest for 'America’s Best Dance Crew’.The finalist crews’ names were ‘Super Crew’ and ‘So Real Crew’. Each had about 6-8 members. As it showed their journey to the finals, they emphasized that each group had overcome some big hurdles in getting there.

This was dance moves of  2012, and what my daughter liked to do.  No cha-cha- cha, polka, or even disco.No, these young dancers incorporated break dancing and some interesting non-choreographed moves, many of which left you sitting there thinking, ‘That is impossible!’ It only goes to show what the human spirit can do when it is challenged and we devote our effort to a passion – something that is an inspirational  part of each of us!   You can tell each one on the stage had a passion for their expression of their movement of the dance and their desire to share it with others.

I was struck by one young man’s statement in his interview about his crew’s performances and their determination to win.He said, ‘You will have to kill us to stop us!’ His crew had come back when others thought they couldn’t win more than any other group in the show’s history – three times. Concerning the other team – one of the judges noted their strong performances and their belief in what they were doing even when some of their family members were not so supportive. He said they believed in themselves, then their crew, and then they made the judges and the audience believe in their passion and their dream.

I stood there and watched just a few minutes, but I was impressed. I thought, "These young people may not have been able to do something so impressive on their own, but they worked hard together, taking a shared vision and were somehow making it contagious.’They didn’t listen to others who said ‘You’re out of the running!’, but instead stayed with their idea of what would work for them, even when it was atypical to most dance move history.

Now, what these young people have accomplished may not change the world, but it is a shining example of what the human spirit is capable of producing when one believes in oneself, in a common cause, or in success for the future, and all because of seeing that nothing is impossible with those kinds of attitudes.

All that made me think of the times in my life when I’ve experienced a wonderful feeling of contributing to something special.Some of those times include: playing in band in high school, playing on softball and volleyball teams, helping coach a volleyball team that came out of the losers bracket and would not give up in order to win a tournament last year, meeting and talking with others on the internet with Parkinson’s disease, and being a part of the Parkinson’s Unity Walk the last three years.The sports competitions were for personal gratification.The effort I put out for Parkinson’s is a personal passion.

My body has symptoms caused by Parkinson’s and it can make life somewhat more complicated than normal, but I want to stay determined to do all I can to help work toward a cure.  I have to believe there will be a cure. I have to surround myself with others who will encourage me not to lose hope – then my spirit will endure!

I can't  make a cure for Parkinson’s disease happen on my own, but with the cumulative power of determined spirits within others who live with Parkinson’s, those who have loved ones with PD,  and those who want to be a part of something very special one day -- a cure.  Ask yourself these questions:  

Do you believe that we can make a difference in helping find a cure for PD??

Will you endure, even when the going is not easy?

What are you waiting for ? join the journey for a cure!

I wouuld like to encourage you to look at each day, determined to find the things that you can rejoice in and revive your spirit, and when you can’t seem to find anything joyful in the day, ask a friend to help you find it.  Get in the rhythm again.  Feel the joy of the dance of life.

The world will look at those of us with Parkinson’s and see us dancing a little bit out of sync on the outside, but they will never know the rhythm of hope we have together unless we can let them see it through our collective efforts of dancing/pulling together .It is then that I think they will see and know that a cure will come, and until it does, that rhythm of hope and belief will be a wonderful temporary healing.

Judy

This is a repost with minor modifiations.

Why can't it be every day??? Happy Mothter's day

This was orginally written to be posted around Mother's day 2016. But it got put in the drafts folder and not thought about again until recently.  I added and removed some thoughts and here it is....

Mother's Day 2016 came and went, and I  whimped out on it.  I guess it is because both of my mothers are both gone and my own daughter is not here either.  I am happy for all those who still have their mom here to wish them a blessed day each and every day.  I thought I would try to  share several ways I think I was blessed by God with 2 wonderful mothers and given the great honor to be a mother to my daughter, Carol. 

My mother in law, Kate, was a 'hot mess' as a friend likes to say about those who love to tease you and then act as innocent as she could.  She was kind and generous, and oohhhh  could she cook!  She was my mother in law for over 25 years.   She and Dad Bill were married over 50 years.  Dad Bill took wonderful care of her before she fell and she required more care than he could provide at home, so she lived for about 5 years in a nursing home before she died in  Dec. 2009.   She and Dad Bill have 2 daughters and one son to carry on their legacy of love and kindness.

I have many good memories of my mom, but one that haunts me to this day is on Mother's day 2010.  It was the first time Mom started feeling so bad from the cancer and she slept most all day.  I was

                                 

excited to give her the card I had picked out for her, but I don't think she was alert enough to read it and she just held it in her lap.  

Just a couple of weeks earlier, Karen and I had taken  mom out to the mall in her wheelchair and she felt good.  That was April 26th, her birthday.  How things can change so fast with cancer.  By the Thursday after Mother's day 2010, my mom and best friend for 47 was gone.  It grieved me to see her hurting and I told her we would be alright if she wanted to go on to heaven. She said to me "don't cry, it's gonna be OK".  My mom passed from this life into her eternal home peacefully on May 20, 2010. 

One thing mom used to tell us is that we would never know how much she loved us until we had a child of our own.  She is so very right about that!  I heard a very true ad on tv about mothers....it said "I am who I am because of who you are." That is exactly how I feel; anything good and courageous in me is from my mom.   So I feel very blessed can confidently say "I had the best mom ever."

Now I would not assume to speak for my daughter, but would think that based on other's conversations about  her after her death in Feb of 2013 that I admit it...I  usually think "they are talking about someone else who raised that girl, Carol, besides me." So I will take partial credit for instilling in her some of her contagious attitude and her love of life.   Her daddy, and my parents and Bill's  parents ...aunts, uncles, cousins, and misc family..all had a great part in her life and legacy.  Even her in-law's...Cooper's family....all of them, helped make her one  we remember with fondness at every turn.  And her friends and teammates, whom she deeply loved...they add to the happiness of memories made with her.  And them there is the one whose love made her smile brightest...Cooper. He brought out in her something for which I am most grateful ....the honor and commitment she had to him and the way he handed her new reigns for the new journey that they had started together.  

So maybe it isn't Mother's Day, and maybe there are more than just women you have to be thankful for in your life or the life of your children.  Go, and tell those people (and i mean speak it...not just a text} how blessed you are to have them in your life. And if they are already gone from this place and time, thank God for blessing you by putting many people in your life who made a change, who helped form your life story, and who gave you their best while here with you!

Judy 
Sept 2, 2016

Whoo whoo 50 blogs published by me!

Drum roll,  please ....(ohh come on and play along..you can ado it with your lips)!   I just noticed that I have published 50 blogs at Just2cuSmile.blogspot!  

OK, excitement over, time to get back to working on my new one for mother's day.   

Thank you for your support....I think I still have a few people who read this.  :)

Judy 
this one is #51 blog

ps.  I do have a few other blog posts at Parkinson's Journey where my friend Sherri let me blog there when i first started.

Just When I need Him, He's Always There

  A few days ago I clearing out some stuff in  the basement and ran across some of Carol's clothes she wore as a toddler and I beame rather emotional. I was thinking "God, she should be graduating from college now, getting a job, having kids. I finally collected myself and got a shower. As I was stepping out of the shower I asked God to just give me some encouragement for the day or else it was not going to be very productive. 

I  looked at my phone and a friend had sent me an encouraging word about the book i had written about Carol.  Just about as soon as i finished reading that message I received a video link from one of Carol's friends of her playing in one of the praise bands at Liberty University (at their largest audience of the year). enjoy some great Christian music here http://media2.liberty.edu/mediaplayer/895/full and hear an awesome speaker! My friend, Abby, is the red head who plays electric guitar. 

 And then I got a call from my friend, Jeanette, who lives in Washington State, and she said "I''m calling to see how you are?"  And I said well, you tell me how you are first.  And she said she had a busy day  and was just taking it easy reading her devotional and she said something told her to 

Call and see how Judy is..."

This is not a normal thing because she usually calls me at night because where she lives is ahead of my time by 3 hours.   

I just wanted to share. I believe my God is a great and mighty God who is true to His word.  I am so grateful for that  and the encouragement He provides--just when  I need it!

Judy Hensley 
may 2016

Dusting off the digital cover of my e- albums

This blog has started out several times and has had several themes that did not make the 'cut'.

Recently I have been trying to organize better some 17,000 pics I have;  here, there, and everywhere! You could say I've been 'dustin off' some of my photo albums...electronically.

my mom--isn' t she so pretty?

This post started when I saw this sweet picture of my mom taken in 2008 on a plane to New Jersey to visit a friend with Parkinson's and her family.  And then there is another picture or two that I just wanted to show you and think back on the fond memories they  bring to mind.

Just the fact that my mom got on that plane was a miracle. She did it for just for me.  I know this because she was so afraid of planes .  I teased her when I asked her about going with me on the plan,  that if we died, at least we would die together and get to see Jesus together.  I am happy to see we both made it there and back in one piece. I figured that mom would be very nervous on her first plane ride, but she did great.  Even weathered through some bad turbulence on the way home.  When she got off the plane in Tennessee she said, "OK, that was my first and last time on a plane, but it wasn't too bad."

While we were in New Jersey, she was a tropper.  Even though Annie and I both have Parkinsons's Disease ,we were on the go.  And as we went a mile-a-minute,  we tried to show mom as much as we could of her newly found 'Jerzee family's favorite places.  We wore her out trying to show her so many things.

Mary, mom, Annie, me.....in  NEW jERZEEEE

And she really loved hanging out with Annie's family.  A picture with me and my mom and Annie and hers is really special to me.  Very remarkable moms if I do say so myself!!! And I think we even got my mom to meet Joe's mom as well (Joe is Annie's husband).

One of mom's fav flavs

Just as that picture brought back memories of mom, so does seeing a box of Banana popsicles.  Not that mom ate them every day, she didn't; but I cannot ever remember her eating another flavor of popsicles.  If you had some other flavors and no banana, she would just quint up her noise at the suggestion of other flavors and kindly say "No, thank you."  Isn't it weird how you brain lets you recall some funny things, and funny associations?  Every time I hear "Ivory Soap" I can smell it and it always makes me think of my mom's mom whom we referred to as "Mammaw".  The only thing with the memory of Mammaw and Ivory Soap is how really good she used to wash my ears and i could not stand that!!!!


The last memory I will share as I dusted off some of my digital albums  is this one below.  It was a picture I took of my daughter, Carol, Mom, and my sister Karen.   I don't know where Joey was --it was rare that he was not with us on most trips.  This one was to Savannah, GA.  I absolutely loved any 'girl times'  we got to share.  Now (as of Mar 2016)  just Karen and I have 'girl time."  When we get a chance to do something, little or big, it is good.  You see in 2002 my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer.  She had some good years and some bad. and finally Jesus called her home on May 20, 2010. Carol got to know the greatest Mammaw in the world for 17 years.  And then suddenly, at the age f 19, Carol was called to spend the rest of her days in heaven on Feb. 27, 2013.  She is with  Mom and others who claim the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ and although I miss them both so much, I cannot think that they are having the time of their lives and would think each of us crazy for wishing them to give up Heaven just to hang out with us.

Carol Mom Karen in Savannah GA

Wow, just a few pages from my digital album, but what amazing  memories that flood my heart and mind of special people God blessed into my  life to make it incredible!  I hope if you can you can look back and have special memories and smile.  Some memories will  be of those gone ahead but their impact on us cannot be denied.  They helped shape us and mold into who we are.   I know I am better because He blessed my life with many more than you have seen here.  And i am grateful for all of them and more.

I can't wait to see them in heaven again some day.
judy
mar 30, 2016

A Need to Know or a Need to Blame Someone for Columbine?

The other evening,  I watched a TV show with Diane Sawyer interviewing the mother of one of the Columbine shooters, Dylan Klebold. This happened in 1999 and brought about all  kinds of security changes to schools around the country.

I found this show very unsettling.  The main reason I felt this way is Mrs. Klebold really did not have to do the interview, and she kept being asked "Is there anything you could have done to have prevented the tragedy that day?"  Why is it we have to have somebody to blame for everything bad that happens?   This mother, in my opinion, did what she knew with the facts at hand before her son walked the halls with another boy, Eric Harris, killing 14 and injuring over 20 more people.  The two who went on this rampage, were also friends and in the end took their own lives.  I am sure that Dylan's mother has thought many times in almost 20 years "Did I overlook  something?  Could I have done something?" She is like millions of other mothers of teens who face changes in attitudes that may be mental instability,  peer stress or raging hormones.  It does not seem to me that she did anything to influence her son to turn to a 'dark side' and become part of the killing, angry two-some that walked into their own high school and wanted to harm so many.

If seems to me in asking Mrs. Klebold 'why' that  her own grief is  ignored.  Her own grief of losing her son.   Losing him in more ways besides death.  She was asked if her son was mentally disturbed, and she replied that she did not think so.  All these questions that I am sure this woman, this mother would like to answer with assurance to those who suffered that day.  But does it really give any of them a better feeling knowing 'why'?   To some it may, to others not.  Do any of them see an anguish from which she  still suffers-- the death of her son?  Her son was not influenced by good, he was influenced by evil.  Not of her influence, but at the influence of a friend, Eric Harris.  

Even in my outrage at the tragedy I can empathize with her.   I think she has figured it out right when she said "I did not kill these people, Dylan did."  And I am sure her life since that day has been tortuous and filled with untold grief.

The thing that bothers me is that it seems like our country is so needy to place blame but not so eager to look for a cure for the cause of these tragedies.   Some say gun control would help while others may promote a "no-bully"atmosphere.  AS in everything in life, it works best when there is a balance--if such can ever be found.  

I would like to share with you an experience I had many years ago that resonates with me as I think about this show that I watched.   I would call it one of the most powerful times I have ever  been fortunate to experience.  One day at the church my husband and I attended, our Sunday School teacher asked if we could join the older married couples class.  I would say that Bill  and I were married for 15 years at the time.   Our teacher asked the older couples in the class to share their greatest regret in life.   I recall looking around and seeing many couples that that I greatly respected because of their Godly life that they lived.   And you know what?  Almost all of them, I would say 9 out of 10 said something like "I wish my kid had not ......."  filled in with many different life events that you know just tore theirs hearts in two.  Divorce, drugs, caught driving while drunk, financial disaster, abortion, unfaithfulness, and on and on.  All of these people raised their kids in church.  So what made their children rebel?

In one statement, I can say it seemed to me, these kids of the couples at church, got hooked up with the wrong kind of friends.  And it didn't matter how much their parents begged, pleaded, punished or otherwise tried to point them the right way, they choose their own way.  That is not to say that at that time and later on, that they did not learn something from their mistakes.  Life is a grand test and the only way we can learn is from our mistakes.  As parents we can pray for our kids to find friends who have the same morals they do, and if they make some mistake it would be small with great learnings from it.

It turns out that Dylan's friend was obsessing about guns and playing video games that had violence in them.  These young men were looking for power to overcome a perception that they developed from others who may have rejected them, taunted them, and such.  An FBI agent who studies these types of killings by young people said that very often they make good grades, come from a good and respectable home, and that they gravitate to violent videos to feel powerful.  And what is the ultimate power?  To take someone's  life against their will.

It seems to me it might be worth a social experiment to see if doing good for others and feeling a sense of accomplishment from many people around us, that we might then start appreciating life instead of hating someone else's enough to take it from them.  And sure, let's try gun control with  balanced controls realizing that no system is fool-proof.  And can we not find another way of  occupying our childrens' minds besides 'shoot to kill' games and predatory movies?  And some general education about mental illness for everyone might help too.

We have got to start "loving our neighbor as ourselves".   It seems so simple  Let's try and not complicate it too much.  I don't know...maybe I am way outta the loop.  Tell me what you think!

Judy
2/2016

Passing of My Father-in-law

My FIL Obit
William Grady Hensley (the first, the one and only) my husband's father passed away last week.  January 19, 2016.  He had moved to Texas and spent the last few years there.  It was closer to one of Bill's sister's who lovingly looked in on him and kept in close communication with him.
 And if you did not know Dad Bill, here are some things I will share with you about him:  My father-in-law was  most kind-hearted man you would ever meet.  He loved his Lord Jesus Christ, his sweet Kate, and his family, especially his daughter-in-law (Me) and his grand and great grandchildren.  They were the apple  of his eye.

He and our daughter, Carol, had a special bond.  I am sure he read her many Bible stories, watched whatever was her favorite video at the time, taught her how to play checkers and picked her up at school for us one day a week until Carol could drive.  He loved that girl with all his heart.  And he welcomed Cooper into our family and made sure to let them know he was interested in how they were doing once they got married.  We took him with us to see them within a month of Carol's death and I will never forget the grin on his face as Cooper took him for a spin in the Mustang he and Carol had just bought.


As when anyone you might know dies, you try and remember your last words or their last conversation you had with them.  I remember very well his words to me at the end of a phone conversation with him a few weeks before his passing. Over the last couple of  months it  was getting hard to understand him on the phone whenever we spoke.  In my last conversation with Dad Bill he mentioned Carol and I got weepy on him.  He apologized for making me cry.  I tried to reassure him that I was OK, but I needed to go.  I told him I loved him and he said "I love you, sweetheart" the in most kindest voice ever to me.  I am so glad to have been blessed by his love, acceptance, and Godly example of how we all should strive to live for 32 years.  He is now in his forever home and enjoying time with Jesus, Kate and Carol and his family and friends in heaven.

I love you and will see ya soon, Dad!
Judy

Happy New Year of 2016!

As you can see I am already running late but I decided to give you  a lil summary of my life.  If  you didn't know, I started this blog in September of 2012.  That was right after Carol, our daughter got married and moved to Gatlinburg with Cooper.  And I was planning on having a surgery at Wake Forest NC called Deep Brain Stimulation (or DBS for short).  Yes, I was reaching the conclusion that Parkinson's disease was eating my lunch and it was time for a drastic change.

Now how many people do you know that have 2 electrodes in their head and battery packs on their chests?  I think it is pretty cool.   It is right up there with heart surgery.....they keep you in the hospital only until you can pee and poop (sorry but that's what they call it too) and then you get to come home and try to regulate pain meds.  So I had brain surgery in Oct 2013 and then in May 2014 with great results.  I am almost bionic...had my left foot operated on in Jan 2015 so I am just about reconfigured from head to toe!!!  I am hoping that I can get back to a normal life with no surgeries  in 2016.  

In between those times of Sept 2012 and my first brain surgery,  Carol passed away at the age of 19 and only married 6 months.  It is still hard.  She made such an impact on her world.   I guess that is why I was determined to write about her life and  legacy in a self published book called:  "Carol's Smile, the Life and Legacy of  Carol Hensley Singletary".  And I got it done and published by Zulon Press in Oct 2014, right after her 21st birthday.  I am not sure I am cut-out to be a writer, but was determined to do it.

It will be 3 years in Feb that Carol died.  I am learning that Bill and I grieve very differently (as do most male /females i.e. dads /moms).  One grief group I have found and find solace in is called "Compassionate Friends" for those who have lost a child.  There is a local group that I participate with and get alot of comfort from that.   I also have been volunteering for 2 years at a store called "Redeemables" where I get to go and re=purpose some things, make some new things, and have a good time while at it.  And my "bosses" there are great!  (ah, I should know flattery will get me no- where on my 'volunteer salary'  but I can try!)

So much more I could tell but that is enough for now.  Thank you to my family and dear friends who have prayed and loved me through such times.  I am praying  for less drama in 2016 and a renewed spirt to help  others.

I am most blessed and I wish God's blessings on you!!!
Judy
Jan  5, 2016

ps. just so you'll know this is my 56th published blog since I started it in Sept 2012!!!!  Thanks for your support!!!