As I look back on those days, I see how much my cousin and his wife encouraged many of us even at that time, and I just wanted to share this with you, so that you can know something that might be of benefit to you someday. I believe our life surprises are a part of the gift we are given each day, and that we may not be able to ever know what 'good' may come out of it, but all of our lives have a purpose. And the surprises of life are given to make us stronger if we will just look deep enough.
It is my hope that my words and a glimpse of BJ's life and his determination to carry on would help someone facing an overwhelming life event. I hope you will understand what is important to me and the hope that helps me get through each day. I would like to thank BJ's wife for permission to share this note.
4/1.0/04
Dear BJ,
I wanted to write you a note and tell you some things that we
might not get to say before you go to Atlanta. First let me say that I love you
and want you to ask me to do anything that you might need for me to do to help
you and Angie. Do not ask me because you think I can, ask me even if you think
I can't--I want to be able to do something for you. And don't worry, I am
sure there will be a day that you can return the favor, OK?
I was thinking last night about the times we have had together.
All of them were before you were a teenager. I think back to the times when
Karen and I would wrestle with you in the floor at Mammaw's house on
Sundays. (this was your first non-professional sport!) You were about 3-5
years old and were run headlong right into one of us and we would roll to the
ground. You were happy the more people there were to take on. Then we would
team up on Karen or you and Karen would team up on me! Now, I want you to know
that we are teaming up with you to wrestle again, to make you strong. You keep
charging at your adversary and wrestle with all your might, just like you used
to do when you were 4, OK, to get back into the swing of life!
The next fun times (I would call the wrestling fun, until you got
big enough to start winning!) I recall are swimming at your pool with you,
Michael, and Karen. What a great time we had! You and Michael would be little
Indian-colored water dogs then! I remember us jumping off the board seeing who
could make the biggest splash or the wildest jump. You and Michael always
amazed me then with your daring feats into the water. It's probably a
miracle one of us didn't end up more seriously hurt back then! But I want you
to take some risks, and do the incredible --blow them away with your
determination and spirit in Atlanta! I will be cheering you on just like we
used to do at the pool!We have grown and started our families now, and the demands of life have made our paths diverge. I don't know your heart like I would like to be able to at this time. But I hope you have a strong faith in God, in yourself, and in your family. The first is so important. We don't always realize how important it is until we face a personal crisis. I do no know how people can cope if they do not have faith and hope in an eternal, unchanging God who cares for us! So please, if you don't have faith in God, I am praying that you will draw near to Him, lean on Him, and mostly trust Him! And if you ever want to talk about this, please ask me.
I would like to tell you how I am coping with my own personal
illness of Parkinson's disease. In a way, we have an unusual common link now.
We both have a neurological problem. Yours has been immediate blockage of nerve
communication; mine is a slow deterioration of nerve cells in my brain that
used to like to use dopamine to control my muscles. When I first started having
pain in my left thumb and shoulder, and then in my left foot, I thought I had
arthritis. It would seem to get worse on rainy or cold days. But when the
orthopedic doctor sent me to a neurologist I got scared. Now with the great
advent of the Internet, I was able to try and see what he thought was wrong
with me. Talk about being scared---I figured before I went to the neuro logist that I had Parkinson's or MS. Both looked pretty damn depressing (excuse my
French,,but that is exactly how I felt). I remember laying in bed one night
and crying until the bed shook and telling Bill that I just hoped what I had
was not hereditary and could possibly affect Carol one
day. (of the two, MS had more hereditary possibilities). As it turns out, I was
diagnosed with Parkinson's disease-- a slow degenerative dying of dopamine
using cells in a small region of my brain. I am able to be almost symptom free
at this time due to advances in medication that I take everyday, three times a
day (that was and adjustment in it's own way for me). If you read the
about the side effects of the medicines, one of the side effects is that it can cause sudden sleepiness in
some people. Well it has an opposite affect on me--I can stay up until
1-2 am with no problem now. The only problem is that it catches up with me
about one day a week. But hey that feeling was is much better than coming
home from work so tired that I had to take a nap everyday! The other thing that
struck me as common for us now is that our illness/injuries are also shared by
famous actors (isn't that neat -just joking). It is because of Michael Fox
and Christopher Reeve that our conditions are getting funds for research that
may pay off in our life-times with advances that could improve our life. But
until then, I can only place my hope in Christ to get me through each day!
I want you to know that I do not know how I would have handled my
diagnosis if I had not had faith in God, if I hadn't had friends and family
telling me that they were praying for me, and if i hadn't had a husband who is trying to
understand and love me through it all. I certainly did not realize how
fortunate and blessed I was to have my spouse at this time in my life, but now I
thank God for Bill more now than before, and I should have done it before I got
PD. Some many things we learn in hind-sight, huh?
When I was diagnosed with PD, I was scared about how long it would
be that I could work; how long would I be able to drive; would I be able to
play with any grandchildren I might have; would Carol someday resent me or my
illness; would I encounter depression like many PD patients; would my friends
and co-workers treat me differently; and lots of other things. But I can
honestly say I can not stay scared long about any of these things when I think
about how good God has been to me, and how he has promised that he will always
be with me, that he will not allow me to endure more than I am able, and how
that I may not be able to see it now but there is a God-sized-plan for me and I
know it is for my good! I am convinced that it takes valuable time and energy
away from us when we debate 'Why me?????" with God. He knows why and he will
reveal it to me in His own time. It is our job, as believers in His goodness
and grace, to live our lives to the best of our ability to bring honor and
glory to Him. Only then can we live life and receive the ABUNDANT joy that He
wants to give us. I heard someone say that it is hard to give God glory for our
trials. They said that is not what the Bible says, it says to give God the
glory while we are IN our trials. Perspective can make a whole lot of
difference in our attitude! Think on that awhile. I thought up this little
saying : Our attitude is a reflection of our gratitude. So many people
today do not have a good attitude because they have not reflected on their
situation with a sense of gratitude. I am praying that your attitude will be
strong through the love and mercy of our Father, and that His love and never
failing promises will allow you to rise above the confines of your physical
body to soar to new heights of confidence and love! And if you ever need to
talk, or just have someone share a cry or hold your hand, just call me, OK?
Just because I have a medical condition doesn't mean I can't find a way to
do what a friend may need from me. As long as we have our heart, mind, and God
with us, we can do anything!
Cousin, I thank God for the good times that we have had, and for
the GREAT times we will have in the future. We have not only a common bond by
blood, but now by medical conditions, but our great BOND is the love of JESUS.
And that is where our TRUE STRENGTH comes from. DO NOT TAKE IT FOR GRANTED, PUT
IT TO USE!!!!!
Love and prayers, Judy
No comments:
Post a Comment