Some Notes to Carol That I Found (since book has been completed)

By now you may have figured out we Good (my maiden name) are note/cards/pieces of scrap paper/napkins and such savers. My mom did it, l do it, and Carol did it.  She took most of her special notes them with her when she got married but I have found some that were with other things that she had not gotten a chance to take to her and Cooper's apartment.  She did manage to take just about every card he gave her though LOL.  So can you fault us want to remember the good wishes others have given us over the years (and I mean years in some cases).  But even now as my mom has been gone almost 5 years I love to look back through some of the cards she sent me.

I share with you the notes below Carol received from acquaintances...some of whom were new and some for several years and not necessarily her own age.    The first was a poem given to her by a man we met at a  Parkinson's awareness event almost 10 years ago.  Paul was an entertaining middle aged man with PD, but he and Carol made a quick friendly bond.   The second is a Thank You note from a dear friend of mine in the Parinsons's community as well.    Peggy has known Carol since she was about 8 years old when I started attending a local support group for PD.   And the last note was a 'personal feedback on a mission trip' that Carol and Cooper both went on Gainsville,  Georgia that her youth pastor's wife wrote to her.   April Olin is a young woman who, along with her husband Brad, pours out the love of her heart into  young people at our church.   April had only known Carol about 2 years before the trip.  I had found Brad's feedback to Carol before I finished the book, but did not find the one from April until just recently...(sorry April it didn't make the book, but you made the blog LOL).  So here they are.....  I hope you can see that each of our testimonies goes on long after we do!

When Carol was eleven years old she went with me, my mom, my sister Karen, and my friend Beth to our first Parkinson's Disease Awareness gathering near Savannah GA.  There we met many friends, some of whom we interact with to this day. Carol met a man there who captured her attention with his quick wit and scooter that he gave kids rides on.   Carol must have captured his fancy because he wrote her a poem.   I found it recently; The man's name was Paul.  Here is his poem to Carol:

At the young age of eleven years old
Her childhood I imagine fits no previous mold,
Cause her life includes a problem it seems...
if you have to give it a name call it is Mom's Parkinson's Disease.

Though this disease I would wish on no one
I am thankful for my friends of which Carol is definitely one!
My friends are what energize me and help me to go
I wouldn't trade that for anything else I know.

So it is without a doubt and this is no lie....
I hope we remain friends and know it is hard
for me to say goodbye!
Thank you, Paul

Does anyone know where Paul is now?  I'd like to tell him thank you  for thinking so much of Carol.

Here is the handwritten sentiment from a Thank You card from my friend Peggy to Carol:
Carol, I don't know many kids your age who help their parents as much as you do,,,I wish there were more.  Thank you for all  you did at the Parkinson's group Christmas party.  We couldn't have made it without you! Hugs, Peggy Willocks  (I would estimate Carol was  about 12-14 years old when she got this note).

And the note from April Olin said:
Carol, I 'm  so glad you were able to go on this mission trip .  I was so much fun being in your group and getting to know you more.  Even though you many not see yourself as a leader, you have strong leadership skills and people are always willing to listen to you and follow you.  You are such a good listener and people can trust you easily.  You have a sweet and tender heart, but you are also very passionate about whatever you are doing.  I love that about you!!  I hope you use that passion to pursue whatever God has in mind for your life.
April Olin

I keep saying she was special and I hope by  reading some of these notes she got  that you will feel and know that it is not just her mom who thinks this about her!
dec 4, 2014
JUDY

They just keep coming-Stories of how she impacted their lives with just a smile and more!

Carol at the Apple Barn Pigeon Forge Jan 2013
a month before she died.

I recently finished writing a book about my daughter, Carol Hensley Singletary, and have been in the unofficial mode of editing, revising, crying, and laughing as I go. As you may have heard me state much of the book " Carol's Smile, The Life and Legacy of Carol Hensley Singletary" (self published through Xulon Press) is input from her family, friends, and even a few short-term acquaintances.

I thought I would share some of recent conversation with a young friend of Carol's who now lives in 'out west'. She knew Carol briefly when she attended Antioch Baptist at the same time when they were both in the youth group She told me how Carol always made her feel "included" and not an outsider . This young lady mentioned to me that she didn't know Carol real well and they only hung out a few times along with Andrea or Jordyn. But she told me "last time I visited back in April I actually went with my dad and we visited Carol at the cemetery. I brought her a couple of flowers and sat there just sort of talking to her and praying for you all. It meant alot to me to be able to be there, especially since I couldn't make it home for her funeral. I guess the reason I am messaging you is just to let you know, and i'm sure you've heard this a million times, but I am so deeply sorry that this happened. Carol was such a beautiful person and I just hope that with time things will get a little bit easier. I am always keeping you all in my prayers."

I was impressed by her honest and sweet spirit. I replied to her: Isn't it crazy how you feel out at the cemetery and standing there and you talk and feel like she really might hear? I don't go there often. I went a couple of weeks ago when i finished the manuscript of the book. I told her i hoped that i did her justice through the book. And i have been thru the 'why her. Why not me? And even the 'it is just not fair'. And in my quietness to try and hear..


She spoke of her emotions at the cemetery: "being there and talking to her, I expected to feel very sad but I got this overwhelming sense of peacefulness almost. I, and im sure you do as well, believe Carol is very happy where she is. She is with God and could not be safer. And i'm sure she is so proud that you're her mother. "


Wow I was again struck by how Carol's spirit makes people feel such a peace. I asked if she had seen the video of Carol's Celebration of life and she said " yes I actually watched it the day it was posted. It was absolutely beautiful. It brings so much joy to my heart to see how many people loved her and were there for her. And i've been praying so hard for Cooper as well. You are all so strong and so blessed to have eachother, especially during this hard time.

"Thank you!" to Carol's sweet young friend for this note to me . It came at just the right time --when I needed a little pep talk. I am not sure she knew it was that to me but it made me very happy. I told her the next time she is back home to give me a call so we can chat some more. I am sure there is a funny Carol story or two that she can share and we will laugh and smile and be thanksul that her legacy lives in many hearts and in many ways!

Judy

aka "Carol's mom"

Nov 25 2014

My poem about Carol

Poem for Carol –aug 2014

I am having one of those days

Looking at pictures and saying your name.

Carol, Carol, Carol….. that smile of yours

How can it be?  Is it even bigger on your face?  

I really know the answer –it has got to be-- because it was worn so much

And now it is in God’s presence  and it can only be brighter

It is right where it belongs…spread wide because of HIS grace—

And I bet it is singing a song!

You know that while you were alive

I was so proud of all you accomplished

I made some noise and made it known (and to you it was no surprise)

Yeah,  I was the proudest mom and I wanted to be recognized

As the mom of the one out there on the basketball floor

Making things happen no matter what the score.

I never did write you a poem while you walked this earth

Maybe ‘cause I was too busy traveling all over the place

(watching you do everything good, I don’t want any of it to be erased)

And now it is later, you have gone away from here

Made your life with cooper and a business with cell phones

A dog, new friends, and college to go along.

And then …unexpectedly..you were gone.

No longer an earthly  beacon of encouragement but to heaven you went home.

How could that happened?  I thought you’d live to be a ripe old age

But I guess God had other plans and he needed you in heaven---

I don’t know why  He didn’t ask me if it was OK.

So I sit here and look at pictures of you,

My daughter, my friend, the one I thought would see me to the end

You were the one….. made from my very being

 ….my heart,

……….my soul….

……….my song

….gone too soon, …

………………………. my heart not only hurts—it aches.

  Will it ever be the same?  Please God, I can’t take this pain.  

At other times , I can thank God for the 19 years of wonderment

That your life filled us with

And I hope one day God will say to me….

“Good job, Judy! on raising this one.”

You just thought she was easy, but she had challenges

Yet she made the best of them because she knew my Son.”

I want you to know, Carol,  I am more than happy that you were married

To that  awesome guy , Cooper …who made you happier than I could have believed.

Your life was so full, how could any of us want it to stop?

So many  questions come to my mind, and I try not to  ask “why?”

Because I know even if I had an answer ….the hurt of losing you would still be alive.

So I carry this burden until l die

When I know we will be reunited and I’ll no longer cry

And maybe all the questions will be forgotten when I look into my Father’s eyes

And I am reminded that I am in GOD's presence and no more tears will flow

And  all my heart will want to do is sing and praise HIM so.

After which He might say “Here is someone who you have been waiting to see

A special angel nmedCarol!! And to her HE will say "Look who is here!!!

It ‘s your MOM and  she is still so very proud!!!!”

At that time..when I see you in the midst of GOD’s glory my heart will be whole again..

I can imagine how much brighter your smile will be

As I hug you and kiss you and I’ll  feel at right at home

And we’ll laugh together forever

When you say to me “Mom, for once could you be ‘on time?’ I thought you’d never get here!
 I’m so glad you’re here now…and we can let the party begin!!!”

And then I can just hear you  say “let me go get the others”

And you’ll return, escorting my family and friends to greet me…..

Exclaiming, “Look ! Mom is here!”

Oh how my heart will soar with joy

As the reunion that has just started  and will go on forever more.!

Judy Hensley

Aug 22, 2014

Our daughter Carol Hensley Singletary died in Feb 2013 in a tragic accident at her workplace.   She was 19 years old and just been married 6 months to Cooper Singletary.  It has been almost 3 very hard years, but my hope comes from knowing she is in God’s presence and waiting for us to join her.  Rom 8l38-39

Some Days the Pain Just Comes Crashing Through

You may be tired of hearing me talk of Carol.  It has been a year and 5 months and sometimes it seems just like yesterday that she was here.   Last night Bill and I both had a 'moment' as we call it.  The time when missing her is so very very hard.  He was in the kitchen and i turned and looked and he was all choked up.   I of course asked 'what is wrong?' knowing the answer.    He said "I just miss her so bad."  And all I can do is hug him, tell him I am sorry, and that I love him.  And sometimes I can hug and not cry, but last night I could not.   We shared a kleenex box to wipe our tears and some of the pain away.

I went and sat in the rocker that our neighbor gave us before she was born.   When I sit there sometimes I feel her as a weight on my legs and a warm feeling on my chest.  It helps because I hear her say "it is OK momma, really...it won't be long until we are together again.   I told Bill about the feeling I get sitting in the rocker.   He did not sit there...at least not when I could see him.
 
I don't know how long it is supposed to take...maybe never.  I don't want to forget her...ever.  I am trying to write a book about Carol's life.  Some days there  is  progress and some days it is just too hard.  

We still see Cooper on occasion. And he is good to come and visit us on holidays.  I don't even know how hard it is for him.   I just ask the LORD to send him  a beautiful someone...with a spirit more special than Carol's so that the void in Cooper's life will be replaced.   And he will smile that smile of complete contentment again someday.

I got a note from my niece by marriage in Texas.  She is pregnant and expecting a little girl in September.  She said they were going to give her a middle name of Carol.   That made me smile.  And maybe someday, the tears will be gone, but she will live on in our hearts.  I see her everywhere I go.  In a sweet little baby, in a curious toddler, in the innocence of  little child looking for their momma or learning something new.  and in the passion of a young lady running up and down a basketball court, and in the lives of her friends who carry on knowing their lives were somehow made better by knowing  and loving Carol Hensley Singletary.

I love and miss you so very much Carol.  I hope you are proud of me and daddy --we are trying so very hard.   love you always and forever ...MOM.

My take on Whiners, Wimps, Weasels , and Winners in LIfe

I like to watch people and especially how they interact.  In recent days I have had several less than pleasant interactions that I have seen and those times started me thinking on some labels thatI put on people as to how they react to what life throws at them.  And I don't know if my 'getting up there in age' makes me think more in a negative mode about people or if it is really true.

One of the few shows I watch fairly regularly on TV is Survivor.   I am not sure why it is but I think the people and interactions there parallel many I have seen in real life.  Other things I like are food and sports.

Along those lines and in an attempt to 'define' for you my 'people classifications' below, I will use the categories of  Food, Sports, Survivor, and teamWORK/Livin life.  These will also be known as YUM, PLAY, MachoMan/Momma M&M, and Livin Life  LL.

So without further ado...here are Judy's People Personas:  Wimp's, Whiners, Weasels, Winners and the 'Also Ran'.  This may not be an exhaustive list but it seems to cover many of the people I have had encounters with in life  So here they are with more descriptions..see if you 'd agree....

WIMPS  -- in the YUM area, Wimps never want to eat anything new--usually just because they had one bad experience.  In the  PLAY area they show up and make a big scene and then cry when things don't go just their way.  In the M&M area they talk a big talk and never produce anything to back it up, and the Livin Life are the wimps are have no backbone, no will power, and no incentive or initiative because they are scared of what might happen.

WHINERS-in the YUM area, Whiners may try something new to eat but they wish it was hotter or colder,  bigger or smaller portions, and on  and on . In the  PLAY area they show up, talk big but are distracted from doing a good job because nothing goes to suit them.  In the M&M area whiners don;t usually get too far because their constant complaining is such a distraction and irritation for everyone else. In Livin Life the whiners are always wishing the day away thinking tomorrow will be better, but at the same time they are not willing to do much to make things better for them or anyone else..

WEASELS--As far as Food is concerned, the weasel is consumed with anything that is yummy, so don't expect them to share at all.  And if you have any thing really yummy of your own, you might want to lock it up or the weasel will make a way to steal it.  As for the weasel at PLAY, they do not make good team mates because they are always looking for an out...if the going gets rough they want to get out asap!   The thing about weasels is they are deceptive and very unreliable...they may start a task but if it requires more energy than they like they will drop out of helping.   But, sometimes in games it is good to have a weasel on your team to throw the competition off.  Weasels are usually in a decent mood as long as one of their recent ploys went as planned.  In general in M&M situations weasels should always be counted as possible road blocks or one that can easily detour your best laid plans.

 Now for the WINNERS...everyone want to be one.   Some want to be it every time.   Some Winners are team players;  some are not.  For Food, the winner can prepare a feast, eat it and never gain a pound.  For Play, people who want to be Winners will go the extra mile to help reach their goal. They push through the rough spots, and keep their heads up.   The M&M type will use all their talents and develop new ones to win.   And in Livin Life most winners are hard workers who use their resources wisely and humbly.  It is those who get to the finish line by running over everyone else in the process that are weaselly winners.  Boo hiss on them.

As we all know, we can't all be winners.  So no matter what part of life you are in, if you show up and give a good effort, you should be proud to say "I was an also ran. I may not have won but I enjoyed the Food, the Play, the Megawoman role, and the fact that I did better than those whiners wimps, and weasels along the way.  It is not always easy but it beats being a coach potato with nothing effective going into my brain".  

So that's my take on it.   I am ready to start the day and live like a winner even if I sometimes fall into those not so becoming "W" ways.  But I will warn you, if you are a wimp, a whiner, or weasel or a bad winner, get outta my way!!!   I am going to make the best of this day so I can give God glory for the blessing in this life!!!

  Judy

  4/25/14

A Poem inspired from attending the Parkinson's Unity Walk

If you didn't know it I thought I might do a little part in telling you that April is important to me because it is Parkinson's Awareness Month.   As part of that, the largest grass roots fundraising event for Parkinson's Disease is held in April in Central Park, New York City .

I have not been  to the Parkinson's Unity Walk in New York City for  several years, but did make in 3 years in a row in 2006, 2007, 2008 and it was always a very special time for me, my family and friends who joined me at the event of hope for a change in the future of all who have PD.  Usually around 10,000 people are there to encourage one another and make a statement about the continued hope foe a cure.

 The walk is also special to me because it is near, or as it is this year, on my mother's birthday.   She was my biggest supporter as I faced life with Parkinson's.   She also instilled into me a faith and courage drawn from a strong faith, hope, and love in God.    I will be thinking of and cheering on all  who will be in the walk this year.  I would like to share this poem that was inspired from the walk I attended in 2008.   I wrote this on the plane on the way back home from the walk in 2008.  

To find our more about how you can help in the fight against PD see Parkinson's Unity Walk and an article about our team the first year I did the walk along with my Jerzee PD Pal, Annie is at 2006 PUW team of Annie and Judy

I’m learning PD’s not as strong
When I face it with a heart filled with song.
And what a gift to receive… a smile, from a friend,
That helps me make it to another day’s end.

I cannot think of it all
And ignore blessings, big or small,
That come from the Father above
Who smiles down on me with kindness and love.

No matter the circumstance or place
He promises He will not hide His face…
Love, grace, and mercy He will supply
Even when we struggle and ask “why?”

Father, this road looks too hard for me
Would you send someone encouraging?
And give me strength to face each day,
With courage, hope, and faith, I pray.

For I know you are in control
Of all of me: heart, mind, and soul
Let me be a reflection of your goodness
To those around me who may be happy or in distress

I want my life to follow your plan
As I walk among my fellow man
And one day may your voice I hear
Telling me you’ve found my love for you honest and sincere

And that I am welcomed into the Heavenly place
And will spend eternity in Your love and grace!

all rights reservered 2008 Judy Hensley

So appropriate for Valentines Day!

This blog post contains thoughts  that I found from Cooper to Carol written in her 2009 year book.  It seemed so appropriate to share on this special day of love.  I asked his pemisson to share  it in my blog, and being the awesome guy he is he said OK.  Thank you Cooper, I think yours and Carol's story will move and inspire people for a long time.   It has given me an added measure of pride in how you and Carol loved and respected one another.

For those of you who may be reading this with limited background..here is a short summary:   Carol Hensley Singletary was our daughter who we were so very proud of in many respects.   She did alot in her 19 years on this earth. She excelled in lots of things (academics, sports, being a loyal friend, being a compassionate soul, and lots of stuff) and was reaching a new stage in her life...an exciting and challenging one, to say the least.  )  Carol graduated from Tri Cities Christian School in May '12;  she and Cooper got married Aug '12 after dating for 3 and a half years.  They moved to Gatlinburg and started their own business there in Sept. '12.  Carol celebrated her 19th birthday in Oct '12.  She had finished her first semester of college at Walter's State Community College at the Sevierville campus. She and Cooper got a dog and named her Roxie.   Life was good and then Carol died suddenly on Feb 27, 2013 in Gatlinburg TN.  It is our strongest sense of peace about her death to know that she lives now in the presence of her Heavenly Father and we will see her again someday.  Knowing that, this Valentine day is the last of holidays that we knew her alive.  In just a few days it will be a year since her death.   It has been a year of so much pain but so much love shared by our family and friends with us.  As I was dreading this last month of the year without her,  I wanted to let people know we are doing OK.  So I thought I would write something about that on Facebook, but worried people might not get all that I wanted to express from my written words so I made a video of my thoughts and put it on Facebook at the first of Feb 2014.  Of course I got emotional ( I didn't mean to....it just happens  with thoughts of her many  times).  Many people sent me notes of encouragement. 
  One of the people who sent me a note was a young lady who had gone to school with Carol just one year in 2008-2009.  This young lady now is married and has two lovely daughters.   Her name is Amber and shortly after she sent me a note explaining how awesome Carol was from her short interactions with her, Ambers's youngest daughter was in the children's hospital near where I live... I sent Amber a Facebook note letting her know if she needed anything that we lived close and  could glady help her with any needs that tend to occur during hospital stays .  I went and visited and prayed for them a couple of times.   The last time I went I took Carol's 2009 yearbook since that is the year Amber graduated.   It was fun looking and hearting about the times they were there together at school.  As I looked through Carol's 2009 yearbook, I saw Cooper's sentiments to Carol recorded on 2 full pages.  She and Cooper had started dating in Jan of 2009, so they had alot of things he wanted to make sure she remembered.  
  I must say I was touched but not surprised at his remarks.   Not only am I really proud of my daughter, I am  so very proud of the young man that God sent our way and that Carol loved and married and was having a great marriage with him.  Although they had only been married 6 months I don't know if I ever saw any two people happier or more suited to be together than they were.  
  So with that said, I thought it would be especially special to let others see how much Cooper loved Carol even after a few month of dating.  So with his permission, the following is a typed copy of his written words to Carol most likely written in May '09.  I think you will be blessed by reading it and know that there are still young people who care deeply about one another in the best kind of way possible.   How thankful I am to know Cooper Singletary, and how grateful I am for his love that he lavished upon Carol.  If you really want to know what a true kind of love is about, read on.....

 Cooper's note in Carol's annual 2009:  this was hand written, a 2 page note, from Cooper to Carol just about 3-5 months after they started dating.  

Hey Babe, whats up!  As I'm writing this right now, there are many thoughts going through my head.  As I sit here and thing of what to say....lol.  There is something really important to me!!  That's YOU!!! You are absolutetly amazing and have made my life wonderful!!   I LOVE YOU!   Those three words are very important to me.  I thought i knew them well until i met you.  I can truly say that i do love you and YES, it 's real...Lol.  You are my 1st true love~  you are so caring  and when I'm down, you bring me up!when i am sad, you make me happy!  You are so important to me, and I wanna stay 2gether 4ever!     :)  We are not on the same page all the time, but we've gotten so close and have already gotten some struggles out of the way.I think we are really serious and 4 real about each other and you're so THE ONE!  You are a beast at vball and bball;  i love wathcing you play and to brag 2 everyone that you are MY GIRL!   LOL, I have so many memories already I can't wait for the many more 2 come!  When look back 2 when I first really started liking you, till now, wow, its been  amazing!  My life has dramatically changed..  I heart u.  (starting 2nd page)   I remember when we went iceskating and played music and everything ...just think it was only the start..LOL. OH, I even remember when we wrestled and I totally whooped you.  ha ha!  oh, can't forget the pic ha ha ...when I look back at that , I really laugh hard.  Man, v-day and when you came over to my house...that was AMAZING!  Yeah, I remember.  All the little things you did for  me and gifts.  The 1st movie I ever saw with you "twilight" hehe and our 1st kiss ever!   There's so many good ones  and 'dang' my hand is starting to hurt.  When I waited for a sign...lol Jt..But me asking you out officially in Sam's vehicle...iIke OMG.  ha ha .. The concerts were great!  Can't forget the trampoline .  But i know what that whole day meant.  It was great!!! 2 all the other ones I missed and you know about, psh..lol.  You are so beautiful and gorgeous!!  There's times I'm amazed and think 'dang, look at her !"    I loved the junior - senior  and dressing up and getting pics .  There's just so much to be thankful for!  "YOU" :)  I hope you have a wonderful summer (with me of course...lol) .  I love and care about you so much, so don't forget.  I like how we have so much fun and joke around, it's great!  I will cherish what time we have  and will have in my heart forever!  From your senior man!   LOL ...I love you Carol Michelle Hensley  signed in cursive:  Cooper Singletary