New Scenes on My Mind's Eye

By Judy Hensley 11/13/12

Have you heard the expression of something that we have seen or experienced being ‘etched on our mind’s eye’?  I have and I have a couple of new scenes there that I’d like to share with you.  I don’t have real pictures of these times, so you will have to follow here and see if you can also see why I would want to keep these scenes in my mind’s eye. 

Most of the pictures in my mind’s eye are there because I have in most cases urged myself to keep them as a special memory.  Some things in my mind’s eye are pictures and others are like mini-video clips.

Some things in my mind’s eye are: the memory of one night standing on the beach watching a storm out at sea with my boyfriend at the time; him hugging me and life feeling so perfect.  (and YES, just so you will know, I married him).  Another one is the day my daughter first laughed out loud, and I stood there and cried and prayed that God would bless her life with happiness; and one that is not so happy to recall is the immense feeling of helplessness and littleness I felt as I watched on a TV screen at my workplace the terrorist attacks on New York City, the Pentagon and flight that crashed in Pennsylvania as events unfolded on a day in September 2001.  There are others, but I think you get the picture. 

Recently another event with two parts has been added to my mind’s eye.  They are related to the passing of my friend Richard Vines.   Richard is one of those kinds of friends everyone should have.  He was near in age to my dad, and I have been friends with his two daughters since we were in elementary school.  We also attended Antioch Baptist Church many years recently with Richard.  He had been retired about 10 years now and his health was deteriorating in recent years due to problems with his lungs.  Many times I looked at him and could tell he didn’t feel well but he would come on and eat with us all after church.   He loved his family, his church, his friends, and he was always there when you needed him.  He was a good listener and an honest advisor. 

A couple of weeks ago, he faced his last battle with his health.  He was in intensive care about a week when doctors told his family they had done all they could do to help Richard.  This did not surprise me and I was not totally upset at this because I knew Richard had a future in a better place and he was ready to depart this world and spend the rest of time with his Savior and Father in heaven.    His family honored his wish and did not prolong his life by artificial means. 

My husband and I were privileged to be in the room along with his daughters, his sons-in-laws, and several other family and friends as Richard peacefully slipped from this world into the arms of God.  I had never been in the place when one was dying and you knew it would be in a short time span.   Being at Richard’s bedside was an event that will forever be in my mind’s eye.  I cannot describe the peace and comfort that I felt being there among those people who shared the same hope and faith that Richard did.  One man prayed, some of us held hands, his daughters stood with such courage and honor for their dad at that time.  It was hard and easy at the same time for me.  It was such a sweet spirit to feel.   Several times during the 40 or so minutes I was there someone would start humming a hymn and the rest would soon pick up and sing.  How can those who love one so much handle such times with such calmness?  I only know one wa,y and that is through the mercy and love of God the Father.  I stayed as long as I could but just could not bear to see him take his last breath.  Within 10 minutes of me leaving, his family and friends trickled back into the waiting room.  Although we knew he was in a better place it is still hard to hold back emotions that overwhelm one at times like that.  But I left the hospital trying to smile because I knew my friend was not hurting anymore, he had run a good race and had finished it well.  I can only pray I might do the same someday. 

The second part of this mind eye memory occurs as I sat in the church for Richard’s memorial service.  I will never forget looking over and seeing Richard’s grand-daughter, Briley Kate who is 13 years old, stand and raise her arms in praise to her Lord and the Lord of her grandfather as she sang along with a trio singing  a gospel song.  I know she did that in honor and worship to her God, but I sat there and thought “what a great legacy Richard has left with his family and those of us who called him friend!” One thing Briley knows and rejoices freely about is WHO always watched over her granddad, and WHO is watching over him now.  And I think that is something worth remembering.  Thank you Briley for being grateful for these things about your grandfather and for the God he served well.  He was a great man and I pray the memories of him in your heart will always bring you joy!  We will miss him, but he is going to be living it up until we can see him again one day if we believe God’s promises and seek HIS love while we live here on the earth.   

Richard Vines Obituary--Johnson City Press online(not complete)

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award me on that day-and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.” 2 Timothy 4: 7-8 NIV

Richard Smith Vines, 75, Johnson City, entered into rest, Monday, October 22, 2012, at the Johnson City Medical Center.

Richard was a native of Jonesborough and a resident of Johnson City.

He was a son of the late Scott and Kate Henley Vines.

Richard installed carpet for many years and later became a salesman for Salem Carpet, Winco Tile and finally retired from John Barretta Tile in Knoxville, TN, where he became part of the Barretta family.

Once he moved back to Johnson City, he became a very active member of Antioch Baptist Church, where he served as Trustee, Sunday School Director and as a member of the Pastor Search Committee.

He was known as “the hospital man,” always seeming to be the first person to visit or call anyone admitted to the hospital, often even before even the pastor knew, Richard had already visited with the sick. When he no longer had the lung capacity to walk into the hospital, he would have someone take him to visit with a wheelchair and once he had his own power chair, there was no stopping him. If he felt well enough, he was there on his own, in his wheelchair. He was known as a prayer warrior and encourager to anyone he knew. Everyone will miss his yearly phone calls to them to wish them happy birthday and happy anniversary. He never missed any opportunity to encourage others.

He loved those special friends who would just drop by to visit and seek advice from his life and wisdom as well.

Richard was a wonderful father, father-in-law, grandfather and friend to all who knew him.

He was a 1955 graduate of Jonesborough High School, the best and closest classmates ever! He will be missed at their annual dinner next year. Richard so enjoyed and loved each and every one of his classmates. They are a wonderful group of people.

Richard enjoyed the Gaither Trio and attended their Homecoming in Johnson City.

He was an avid Alabama Crimson Tide football fan.

Survivors include two daughters and sons-in-law, Tammy Rowe and husband, Andy, Jonesborough, and Tina Lyle and husband, Alan, Rome, Italy; three precious grandchildren, Owen and Briley Rowe, Jonesborough, and Rebecca Lyle, Rome, Italy; a special friend, who was like a son, Tim Taylor and wife Teresa; one special cousin, Jean Henderson and her husband, Jim, Cleveland, TN; many nieces, nephews, great nieces and nephews; also many special friends within his church

A Hope for Any Life Surprise

Life is full of surprises.  Most of us love surprises because when we control them they are usually good.  But life's surprises' can  be overwhelming at times.  If we ever have any hope of pulling through those times it requires more than just our own strength.  The note I include here is a note    that I wrote to my cousin BJ who, at the age of 30, had a motorcycle wreck that paralyzed him from the chest down.   I grew up playing with him and his brother Michael.  In this note you will find details about my life altering illness of Parkinson's disease.  I was trying to encourage him about the   long haul he would have with his injury based on some experience I had when I was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease.   BJ died from complications of his injuries 5 days after I gave him this letter. 

As I look back on those days, I see how much my cousin and his wife encouraged many of us even at that time, and I just wanted to share this with you, so that you can know something that might be of benefit to you someday.  I believe our life  surprises are a part of the gift we are given each day, and  that we may not be able to ever know what 'good' may come out of it, but all of our lives have a  purpose.  And the surprises of life are given to make us stronger if we will just look deep enough.

It is my hope that my words and a glimpse of BJ's life and his determination to carry on would help someone facing an overwhelming life event.  I hope you will understand what is important to me and the hope that  helps me get through each day.  I would like to thank BJ's wife for permission to share this note.

4/1.0/04

Dear BJ,

I wanted to write you a note and tell you some things that we might not get to say before you go to Atlanta. First let me say that I love you and want you to ask me to do anything that you might need for me to do to help you and Angie. Do not ask me because you think I can, ask me even if you think I can't--I want to be able to do something for you. And don't worry, I am sure there will be a day that you can return the favor, OK?

I was thinking last night about the times we have had together. All of them were before you were a teenager. I think back to the times when Karen and I would wrestle with you in the floor at Mammaw's house on Sundays. (this was your first non-professional sport!) You were about 3-5 years old and were run headlong right into one of us and we would roll to the ground. You were happy the more people there were to take on. Then we would team up on Karen or you and Karen would team up on me! Now, I want you to know that we are teaming up with you to wrestle again, to make you strong. You keep charging at your adversary and wrestle with all your might, just like you used to do when you were 4, OK, to get back into the swing of life!

The next fun times (I would call the wrestling fun, until you got big enough to start winning!) I recall are swimming at your pool with you, Michael, and Karen. What a great time we had! You and Michael would be little Indian-colored water dogs then! I remember us jumping off the board seeing who could make the biggest splash or the wildest jump. You and Michael always amazed me then with your daring feats into the water. It's probably a miracle one of us didn't end up more seriously hurt back then! But I want you to take some risks, and do the incredible --blow them away with your determination and spirit in Atlanta! I will be cheering you on just like we used to do at the pool!

We have grown and started our families now, and the demands of life have made our paths diverge. I don't know your heart like I would like to be able to at this time. But I hope you have a strong faith in God, in yourself, and in your family. The first is so important. We don't always realize how important it is until we face a personal crisis. I do no know how people can cope if they do not have faith and hope in an eternal, unchanging God who cares for us! So please, if you don't have faith in God, I am praying that you will draw near to Him, lean on Him, and mostly trust Him! And if you ever want to talk about this, please ask me.

I would like to tell you how I am coping with my own personal illness of Parkinson's disease. In a way, we have an unusual common link now. We both have a neurological problem. Yours has been immediate blockage of nerve communication; mine is a slow deterioration of nerve cells in my brain that used to like to use dopamine to control my muscles. When I first started having pain in my left thumb and shoulder, and then in my left foot, I thought I had arthritis. It would seem to get worse on rainy or cold days. But when the orthopedic doctor sent me to a neurologist I got scared. Now with the great advent of the Internet, I was able to try and see what he thought was wrong with me. Talk about being scared---I figured before I went to the neuro logist  that I had Parkinson's or MS. Both looked pretty damn depressing (excuse my French,,but that is exactly how I felt). I remember laying in bed one night and crying until the bed shook and telling Bill that I just hoped what I had was not hereditary and could possibly affect Carol one day. (of the two, MS had more hereditary possibilities). As it turns out, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease-- a slow degenerative dying of dopamine using cells in a small region of my brain. I am able to be almost symptom free at this time due to advances in medication that I take everyday, three times a day (that was and adjustment in it's own way for me). If you read the about the side effects of  the medicines, one of the side effects is that it can cause sudden sleepiness in some people. Well it has an opposite affect on  me--I can stay up until 1-2 am with no problem now. The only problem is that it catches up with me about one day a week. But hey that feeling was is much better than coming home from work so tired that I had to take a nap everyday! The other thing that struck me as common for us now is that our illness/injuries are also shared by famous actors (isn't that neat -just joking). It is because of Michael Fox and Christopher Reeve that our conditions are getting funds for research that may pay off in our life-times with advances that could improve our life. But until then, I can only place my hope in Christ to get me through each day!

I want you to know that I do not know how I would have handled my diagnosis if I had not had faith in God, if I hadn't had friends and family telling me that they were praying for me, and if i hadn't had a husband who is trying to understand and love me through it all. I certainly did not realize how fortunate and blessed I was to have my spouse at this time in my life, but now I thank God for Bill more now than before, and I should have done it before I got PD. Some many things we learn in hind-sight, huh?

When I was diagnosed with PD, I was scared about how long it would be that I could work; how long would I be able to drive; would I be able to play with any grandchildren I might have; would Carol someday resent me or my illness; would I encounter depression like many PD patients; would my friends and co-workers treat me differently; and lots of other things. But I can honestly say I can not stay scared long about any of these things when I think about how good God has been to me, and how he has promised that he will always be with me, that he will not allow me to endure more than I am able, and how that I may not be able to see it now but there is a God-sized-plan for me and I know it is for my good! I am convinced that it takes valuable time and energy away from us when we debate 'Why me?????" with God. He knows why and he will reveal it to me in His own time. It is our job, as believers in His goodness and grace, to live our lives to the best of our ability to bring honor and glory to Him. Only then can we live life and receive the ABUNDANT joy that He wants to give us. I heard someone say that it is hard to give God glory for our trials. They said that is not what the Bible says, it says to give God the glory while we are IN our trials. Perspective can make a whole lot of difference in our attitude! Think on that awhile. I thought up this little saying : Our attitude is a reflection of our gratitude.  So many people today do not have a good attitude because they have not reflected on their situation with a sense of gratitude. I am praying that your attitude will be strong through the love and mercy of our Father, and that His love and never failing promises will allow you to rise above the confines of your physical body to soar to new heights of confidence and love! And if you ever need to talk, or just have someone share a cry or hold your hand, just call me, OK? Just because I have a medical condition doesn't mean I can't find a way to do what a friend may need from me. As long as we have our heart, mind, and God with us, we can do anything!

Cousin, I thank God for the good times that we have had, and for the GREAT times we will have in the future. We have not only a common bond by blood, but now by medical conditions, but our great BOND is the love of JESUS. And that is where our TRUE STRENGTH comes from. DO NOT TAKE IT FOR GRANTED, PUT IT TO USE!!!!!

Love and prayers,  Judy