Well I finally did it. Wrote a book about my daughter, Carol, who died at the age of 19 in February 2013. It has forever changed not only our lives but the lives of many others. People that knew her and even people who didn't. They told us. They came and stood in line for hours to tell us what a special young lady Carol was. Not that we didn't already know that; it's just that we didn't know to what extent her life impacted people.In today's environment, it seems like there is no way that the All-American girl or guy can still exist. That is one of two reasons I wrote the book. I want people to know that if you have your priorities right, like Carol did, you can succeed and exceed expectations of many in this world. And you can succeed at academics, sports, have a healthy social life, and have time to still do church, work and care about your family....and still find the guy of your dreams.
The other reason I wrote it is that I am selfish and want memories of her to be here even if I am gone. And I believe her legacy of happiness and loveliness is worth telling. She was a gift from God to her dad, Cooper and I. The only way i know how explain how we manage to get through the times without her is by taking hold of God's amazing peace and promises that is offered to me. If you don't know them, let me tell you I think Carol would tell you that you should. And I know I would. I have to keep reminding myself that God gave her to me for a season for a very good reason and He will be here for me and with me and He will see me through even the darkest of times. My good friend Sherri Woodbridge wrote this on one of her excellent blogs:
In her own strength (and she will tell you this herself) Judy has not survived but it has been only by the merciful compassion of a heavenly Father working through His presence in her personally or through the outreach of others toward her. And it’s because of His relentless mercy that she is learning to sing in the night hours. The times that are so incredibly dark and the sun seems it will never shine again. You know – the times when you feel imprisoned to the pain of this world and it feels as if it will never let up. Songs in the night are miracles of praise because when you least feel like singing is when you need to do it most.
One night when I was up in the middle of the night, a friend sent me a link to song that I still believe could have been written just for me. It is called "The Hurt and the Healer" by Mercy Me. As I listened to it that night it was through tears. Each time I listen I cry less and each time it gets a little easier. Here are some of the lyrics:
So here I am --what's left of me
where glory meets my suffering,.
I'm alive... even though a part of me has died.
Lord, Take my heart and breath it back to life
as I fall into your arms open wide
where the Hurt and the Healer ..collide.
Breathe....sometimes I feel it's all that I can do
pain so deep that I can't move,
Lord, keep my eyes completely fixed on YOU
Jesus, come and break my fear,
awake my heart
and take my tears,
find Your glory
,,,,,,,,,,,, even
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, here.
by Mercy Me
And that is why I can praise HIM with all my heart, with my loudest song, and with a humble honor that He has shown me that is mine to be Carol Hensley Singletary's mother. (10/28/93-2/27/13)
Claiming John 16:22 : Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy!
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