Possibly the Craziest Thing I Have Ever Done....over 400 times...

Getting People to wear a crazy looking coat and have their picture made in it!

This is how it started:

I was 40 years old living a good life and  married 17 years to the same guy.  I was able to live in our hometown of Johnson City, I had a great job i loved with people I loved’ I was involved at church, taking martial arts with the fam, and keeping up with a super daughter who was 9 years old. Then i started having some goofy health problems, and in Nov 2002 sat in a neurologist's office and heard these words:  "You have Parkinson's disease".  GULP...well...alot has gone on  since then.

One of which is me and this coat, affectionately called 'da coat'.  I bought it because I thought it was so bright and pretty and a steal at 90% off retail (a 'designer named' coat at Big Lots at $15! )  We could use it at church in a play...or I could send it to kid's summer church camp for them to use!  If my daughter had only had my same sense of 'style' this whole thing would not have been.  Funny how God uses ordinary things to do extraordinary things though, huh? for some special reason gives such a feeling of coolness when it is worn. Plus, it drives my dear daughter crazy. My picture wearing the coat is included in the book “Proud Hands of Parkinson’s’ along with my story about living with Parkinson’s disease.  

Because she despised seeing that coat, it became my mission to show her that she was wrong.  I was going to get people to put it on and even have their picture made in it.  And somewhere along the way, some of my Parkinson's disease friends really took up with this coat, wearing it, feeling the love, smiling or at least letting me take their picture in it.  Telling people a little about Parkinson's as I continued my quest to convince my daughter of her lack of fashion style became a fun pastime.  And then other people would see 'da coat pics I would post online.  I even started mailing it to a few people in the USA.  They could have the coat as long as they took their pic in it and used it in some way to tell people about PD.

In 2009, I even asked a member of The Regulars to take 'da coat with them to the highest point in Africa (19,300 ft) as part of their efforts to raise funds and awareness for PD and Alzheimer's.  She did and the coat is seen in the trailer for the documentary film released in 2010 called "10 Mountains 10 Years" and mentioned in the commentary of the movie.  'Da coat is also seen in a book "Proud Hands of Parkinson's Disease," and has gotten numerous mentions in blogs by people with PD.  There is even a piece of it in heaven because I put a small square of it in my mom's casket.  She was my greatest supporter, and friend that I could have in my journey with Parkinsons’s disease.  And my mom made so many people smile and feel good, and that is what 'da coat does too--it makes you smile,.  It gives good vibes.  It is fun.  I had tried to send 'da coat to a new home on the west coast in the summer of 2011.  It stayed awhile but my friend wanted me to have it back for a special time in Oct.

It is no longer my coat ....it is 'da coat that has grown to not only bring awareness to Parkinson’s disease but due to meeting some wonderful people also associated with The Regulars, it has become an awareness item for Alzheimer’s disease.

Learnings from the Coat

I thought I’d tell you some things that my outlandishly, stand-outish, wild coat has taught me. This is the coat that brings me great joy whenever I put it on or have a new friend put it on.

 First, the coat is colorful and draws some attention, and it reminds me of the bible story of Joseph and the coat of many colors his father gave him. And although I’m sure it was a treasured item because his father gave it to him, it caused some bad feelings with his brothers and ultimately was the straw that broke their backs. That coat brought Joseph adversity from his brothers; he ended up sold into slavery. He overcame that and became a personal servant of the queen only to end up in jail over a misunderstanding. He overcame that and became the right hand man of the ruler after interpreting a dream. All that started with the coat? Yep, in a way!

 When I thought about it …wearing ‘da coat kind of parallels having Parkinson’s. The symptoms eventually make us stand out; we may be ridiculed by others for standing out in such an unusual way. But I’m here to tell you, PD may be an adversity we face, but we can turn it into an advantage in our lives if we just keep a positive attitude. My Parkinson’s has allowed me to meet so many wonderful people; it has helped me move out of a comfort zone into an active roll in the effort to fundraise for a cure; and it has helped me become more attentive to life around me and more compassionate to others.

 Next, the coat makes me stand out and gives me an opportunity to tell others why PD makes us stand out. It is at first an uncomfortable feeling you have from standing out when you put the coat on….kind of like when you first find out you have PD. You wonder how people will accept you. I’ve found people who really don’t find the coat that appealing will still put it on as a form of acceptance for me. It also gives me a chance to tell them this may be the coat I have to wear for now, a disease I have to live with for now….. But while I’m standing out, I’m going to take the opportunity to tell people about PD and let them know what it’s like, and hopefully they’ll be more inclined to support a cure.

Third, the coat has become somewhat of a trademark of me (or my personality) or a way I am recognized–as a really crazy parkie lady! I even had my picture in the coat and a clown wig included in a published book called “Proud Hands of Parkinson’s” that includes stories of 28 people whose lives have been impacted by Parkinson’s. I’ve subtitled my personal page after getting my copy of the book “Proud Coat of Parkinson’s” lol. One author, Pam Spence, has written about ‘da coat in her book called “Glad Rags, Inspiring Clothes and the Women Who Wear Them ( EWH Press 2014).

Wearing this wild coat has a close personal association for me of wearing the illness called PD in my life. My PD is unique to me and I’m learning to be more comfortable in it. It all takes time to cope with it and that is not possible without support from others. Just think of these other people who have trademark clothing or accessories and how well associated they have become with them: Captain Kangaroo and Mr. Greenjeans, Mr Rodger’s and his cardigan, ELVIS–enough said, Mr. T and his pile of gold jewelry, Minnie Pearl and her hat with the hanging price tag, Barney Fife and his gun with no bullet, Granny and her long dress and spectacles from the  Beverly Hillbillies, and what about Tarzan and his loincloth, Daniel Boone and his coonskin hat, and Batman with his hooded face cover and those gloves and shoes? Soon to be added to the list: Judy with PD and the multicolored coat.

Can you see my point? The coat is not just one dimensional; it encompasses many feelings and emotions —just like having PD does!.

Since I started sharing the coat with others and letting them ‘feel the love’ it brings to each, it has brought  a unique camaraderie to those who have worn the coat.   ’Da coat often brings a smile to one’s face as they try to recall just why they would ever don such a coat and let Judy take their picture in it!    It provides a chance to smile in the middle of an otherwise dreary illness or day. It is something out of the ordinary and quite fun to do…wear ‘da coat and strike a pose!

And one of it’s most important attributes is, that it gives you liberty to talk back to PD…and say ‘see you dumb disease? …you cannot make me feel any goofier than putting on this coat does!’ (I have no idea what it lets people that don’t have PD say…except “why am I doing this?” LOL).

 So that’s what I think ‘da coat has shown me in the time we have shared. I cannot tell you how much fun I have had seeing others put it on or drape it over their shoulder and smile while I snap their picture. There are a few people who I know who have refused to wear the coat, but I just tell them, “your loss!” Who would have ever thought I’d have so much fun from a wild, outlandishly looking coat that I bought for $7.50?

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Poem by Judy Hensley:

Just what is all the ruckus over 'da coat?  by Judy Hensley  3/30/09

One day in 2005, I  went into a discount store

my eye was caught by colorful coats by the door

I looked at the tag and gasped at the original retail price

and then I thought "at $15, this 90% discount is really nice!"

So I shelled out the cash and took the gorgeous coat home

and planned to wear it when I deemed the time was right

the day Carol left for church camp one summer seemed the time for all the coat to see

and on that debut day,the bright multicolored coat started it's remarkable journ--ey

My daughter, Carol, was of course most horribly ashamed

of her mother and this new 'show-off 'da coat' game

She begrudgingly took the coat to camp for all of them to enjoy that week

and planned it's demise so that there would be no coat repeats!

I gave her permission (she did at least call to ask) allowing her to let the coat stay

she seemed so sincere but I liked the coat so I headed to a discount store in another city that very day

to see if they had more of the incredible coats and found them marked half down

so I was able to get another coat and greet her in it when she got home...only to see her smile replaced by a frown.

It became my mission to show my daughter

that 'da coat is special and she was the only doubter

so I've asked many friends at church and other places

to join in some fun and put on 'da coat and make big smiley faces!

I soon began to wonder if my obsession with this coat could be due to my PD

so I took 'da coat on a trip to a PD conference to see.

Some of my Parkie friends were skeptical of it's power

but when they saw others put it on, their mind was changed in less than an hour.

This coat now has a life of it's own

if you get a chance to put it on, then just do it ..you'll see

it feels wonderful, it's so bright and cheery, you'll have to also put on a smile

and let me take your picture to show everyone it was worthwhile.

What once was "Judy's coat" is now referred to as 'da Coat

because it is no longer mine but it represents a community of mine

of family, friends, and men and women with Parkinson's disease

who are not afraid of having some fun--thank you, try it on, please!

In July 09 'da coat  accompanied Strong Feather Eileen of The Regulars

as that team climbed Mount Kilimanjaro in Africa to raise awareness of Parkinson's and Alzheimer's disease

I waited at home to hear if they got to the summit hoping it was to be

Knowing in my heart that i was a part of their mission they were

Heroes to pepple like me

You see they knew that 'together we work for a cure'....

Me, you, kids, friends and many others who live ordinary lives

All making an extraordinary difference in our future

by doing something bold and courageous, to help us not only live with a new hope but... survive!

'da Coat has traveled near and far

it's been worn by people, animals, statues, and even a couple of preach'ars

and I've got over more than 400 pictures of the occassions to help me remember the joy

and although my daughter still does not like 'da coat, it will not stop my ploy

to share some fun along each of our pathways

and help us to not take life too serious....Come on!!!... enjoy the little things each and every day!

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If you have worn the coat and would like to tell how it made you feel, I'd like to share it with others in a selfish effort to bring awareness to Parkinson's disease!  Thanks,Judy Hensley ....a gal living in Tennessee diagnosed with Young onset Parkinson's disease, still determined to endure for a cure!

me with a friends convertible Miata in California 2009.

Hope, Love , Loss in 2017

Today's thoughts were spawned by message from a friend of one of her friends enduring the loss of a 16 year old daughter.  It made me think of others I know that have or are going through great loss of a child and my own loss in the death of my daughter, Carol.

My friend Kari, who knows of our journey of losing our only child, Carol at the age of 19, sent me a message about some friends of hers in Texas who were burying their 16 year old daughter.  She noted some similarities to their daughter's and my daughter's life including a common interest in sports and had the same basketball jersey number 22; they both died suddenly; they both went to small private schools; and they both loved the Lord and both had amazing personalities. Another thing I noticed as I listened to this young woman's "Celebration of Life" online was that she and Carol had the same middle name, Michelle.  Her parents had been married for 30+ years and were strong Christians who acknowledged the power of prayers offered  up for them in the wake of Ally's death.  They are calling the time that Ally lived as #Allyslegacy.

I am sure many who attended Ally's wake struggled with words of comfort to this family.  Why?  Because we don't experience this in our lives very often.  The death of a young person. Statistics from the CDC in 2014 , indicate that   the number of teenagers who died in 2014  in the US (ages 10-19 years old) who died of all causes  was 12,480.  The total number of deaths in 2014 in the US was 2,626,000.   That is 0.5%.  Doesn't sound like a lot when expressed as a percentage, but each single one of  these young people's lives was and is still held in the loving hands of God, the Creator of all life.(in Psalm 139 --God numbers our days before we are born)  

And as a believer in Jesus Christ I know that He is much bigger than our doubt, our concern, our worry, and it doesn't matter if our loss was sudden, unexpected, or anticipated over time.  God is still in control and He understands our pain at this time. He give us His Holy Spirit to dwell in us and that spirit will pray for us when we have no words to pray.  I have felt the prayers of such when Carol died.  Many who came to pay their respects just held our hand or hugged us without saying a word, but I felt a peace with each spirit- prayer I knew they had for us.

 The death of our daughter at age 19 was tragic and unexpected.  No one has ever asked me what it felt like when Carol died and what the ensuing days were like.  I think if someone wanted to know, I would tell them this:  I can only describe it AS IF someone walked by you and punched you so hard in the chest that.... your breath would be taken away and your heart would feel like it was never going to start beating again. Your legs get weak and you fall to the ground by the surprise and suddenness of it all.  And then if that were not enough, about the time you catch your breath, each new thing  that you must deal with about your loss feels like there are hands tightening around your neck and that suffocating feeling creeps up and you just wish you could die too. The torture to your system does not kill you but leaves an aching that you feel every single day, for the rest of your life.  

I don't know how people could even survive this loss without the mercy and grace of God.  He promises to never leave us alone in any situation.  He promises that good will come from tragedy if you will just wait, be calm and listen, and keep the faith in His goodness.  He gave our children to us as a great gift and said "Do your best for a little while."  Our children are a shared treasure, but ultimately they are the Creator's to know, to love, and nurture for the rest of eternity. And He gives us the greatest promise that I cling to .., WE WILL  share all of time with them in His presence if we believe in all He has done for us.  

As I sat and grieved for this family, I thought of others I know whose lives have been  touched by other losses of their children.  I have a dear fried whose daughter is estranged from her and will not communicate with her in any way.  This mom grieves for the loss of her child's friendship, happiness, and and for her daughter's seemingly insensitivity for all that has been done for her by many.  All the while, this mom knows she has been truly blessed.  I am sure she has asked a thousand "whys?" and  "What can I do to have a restored relationship with my daughter?" This mother may or may have not seen or realized this 'disconnect" coming in her life.  But because she has faith, she holds to the hope for their relationship to be restored.

Some other families I know have had a drastic life change when their child suffered a traumatic injury or illness.  It was sudden, and now their child is re-learning many tasks and  their families 
rejoice at each milestone, whether big or small.  These families have more patience than I think I could ever have.  They are confident in a hope that their miracle is in the future someday, and that their child's being and life will be restored if not completely then to a "new normal" for which they will be joyous.

Still others I know are watching a child deteriorate and nothing in the power of men can change things.   Their hope is that God will allow healing.  I cannot fathom the patience they have except they lean on each other and know that God is infinately good in all aspects of their lives.  



If you know of someone  whose life has been shattered by loss of a young person,  say a prayer for them, and keep praying for them.  Ask them out for a cup of coffee or to some activity to that might help reduce their stress and encourage them.  It may seem hard but don't be afraid to speak of the one they hold dear and have lost or are waiting on their child's return.   The best time I have  spent with a friend was one in which they asked "Tell me about Carol" and it was the best because I felt alive again...because  I have this HOPE:

 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.    this verse we had placed on Carol's gravemarker:  Romans 8:38-39
  
And one last thing....give your child/children a hug and as much love as your heart can give up each time you can, because we are not promised tomorrow.  Make moments into memories and always remember they are ours for just  a little while, and eternity is forever on the other side of this day.
 LOVE, 
Judy
27 Feb 2017

POEM The Day Carol was Born (A recollection on her 23rd Birthday)

For Carol's 23rd birthday: And a short explanation: When Carol was little and she could not get to sleep, she would ask me to tell her "About the day I was born":. So here is a lttle bit of the story...maybe it will work, on you too...putting you to sleep, i mean.

The Day You Were Born : Carol MIchelle Hensley..

Twenty three years ago on this day,
It was a beautiful fall day and we were so excited
To meet our new, first and only little Baby Hensley
And we’d get to finally know if you were a boy or a girl!

It all started when I awoke early on OCT 28, 1993 and wondered
If this was to be the day that you would come to stay??!!
When my water broke I told your Daddy to call the nurse
And ask if we needed to report to the hospital
They said “Yes, you might have a baby in your arms by days end!

Daddy was calm driving to the hospital
It helped that traffic was light at the time of 4 a.m!

At the hospital they got me all comfy
And hooked me and you up with lots of wiring
To monitors designed to tell them all sorts of things.
When I started having some discomfort
they asked if I wanted “the good drug?”
The one that would make me not feel a thing.
I responded : “YES, PLEASE, HURRY, Give that “ good drug” to me!!!!
That lasted well until they said I needed to start “pushing”
So I did until you decided to make your debut….
I was getting tired and it was late, when you finally decided to cooperate,
And you were born at 10:47pm  on 10/28, 1993!



A beautiful baby girl whom we named Carol Michelle Hensley,
Arriving at 8 pounds even and 20 and a half inches long
with a lil bit of hair and amazing green eyes.

This bundle of love we would get to know well in 19 years.
We tried our best…. to raise and love you well,
And then Cooper took that over.
And then we dreamed new dreams for both of you!.

Things did not turn out how we would have liked
Because you died suddenly …and way to young ..living just 19 years.

But we place our hope and faith in this thought.
Today, we know… you are so happy in your heavenly home
And we cannot wait to see you again
Surely God will not make us wait too long!


So today as your mom, I choose to remember with great pride
The lovely life you lived,
your heart that you had for others,
And one of many things thing I miss so bad… your sweet smile

And I know that our girl’s spirit is not dead,

But instead….. is… so very alive!


I will always love you, my Carol girl!
Give everyone a hug up in heaven from me,

Mom

Judy Hensley 10/28/2016